Saturday August 15, 2015
8:18 am
I am awake, but the birds outside
my window this morning are predominately crows, caw, caw, cawing raucously to
establish their territory. Over the din, I hear the anxious calls of a few
other birds warning their families of the aggressors. In nature, as in our human societies,
the battles for dominance are never ending.
I am pensive today, the awareness
of needing to get away strong in my conscious thoughts. My emotional bank is
near empty and my spiritual self has been taxed to the max. There is so much to
accomplish everywhere I look or turn, but I know, it’s time to retreat; to
drink in the stillness of nature, to allow God to restore my soul. If I don’t
take this sabbatical from work, from family, from responsibilities, the strain,
the stress, the disappointments, the pressures, will wear too heavily on my
being and I will break; slowly at first but then with a cascading down of the
structures I’ve built up over time to support the person I am, at home, at
work, at life.
And so, leaving chores undone,
errands unaccomplished, I will retreat into nature, drinking in the beauty, the
grandeur, the majesty of creation. I will revel in the stillness, the lack of
traffic, of sirens, of people with problems, agendas, and ever-present needs
filling my awareness. My plans are for it to be; me, God, the dogs and a pair
of comfortable shoes.
I have two days and I can go
anywhere I wish in a 500 mile radius. Shortly, I will begin packing up my
truck, look for my smaller tent, a camp stove, a cooler, throw in the coffee
pot, my Bible a sleeping bag or two and head out. The wet, rain-laden clouds
gray the sun and I mentally add tarp to the list.
In Native American culture taking
a Vision Quest was an important part of a warrior’s life. Looking for a
revealing of a spiritual purpose, a greater definition of connection to the
Creator was essential. I cannot begin to understand the full significance of
what these Vision Quest’s were, and are meant to be, but in my own small way I
can take time to allow God to restore my soul, and find respite from the hectic
pace of my life.
The part of me that is ever so
weary, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually shrinks from the
packing up of the truck, the ‘getting it together’ part of getting away. It
takes an effort to make time for “self-care” and sometimes, when you’re near
worn out, even that’s difficult to do.
But, I know I must get away. The
realization that I have the luxury millions don’t to “get away” weighs heavy on
my heart. I am fortunate, ever so fortunate to be healthy, have resources and
freedoms. I can never take those privileges for granted. But, I can’t guilt
myself for being fortunate, I must acknowledge that where I am now in my life I
can’t be of any help to anyone if I am not there in the moment to care, to
listen, to help, to encourage, to comfort and sometimes to guide.
So, I have a goal, an escape plan
if you will.
“When I am overwhelmed, lead me
to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter to me, A strong
tower from the enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever. I will trust in
the shelter of Your wings.” Psalm 61: 2-4
I never know who you are reading this. People in many countries read
this blog and I realize that my life sounds so “rich” so lucky, so blessed, so
free. If you are reading this now, and are experiencing the longing to “get
away” yet can’t, I’m sorry. May God grant you His peace, His comfort, His
strength in the middle of your storm. May He cause the sun to warm your face,
the wind touch you with its gentle caress letting you know He is there, and He
loves you. May the Word of God speak to your heart and life with truth, comfort
and significance. May you experience the
awareness of His presence to a greater degree knowing that pain and suffering
you are going through now are only for a moment and someday, in eternity, every
tear will be dried, every disappointment disappear in the glory of the presence
of the living God. Remember to “look up!” “Your redemption draweth nigh!”
Robin
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