I have never been one to like the
word, “No.” My Kindergarten photo shows me, Dutch Boy haircut, standing
sturdily in my row for the class picture. I thought I knew everything and I was
invincible. For my parents, it was a
journey that required much patience and a willingness to endure a long line of
struggles with me wanting my own way. I had an opinion and didn’t hesitate to
share it, ignoring my parent’s plaintive reminders about, “children being seen
and not heard.” My stubbornness, strong will, and above average intellect
combined throughout the years to get me into hot water, again and again. I
conformed, I rebelled, I led, I followed, I was a product of the “me
generation.”
Some of my
youth, I sought God and found a respite from the willful waywardness. It would
be awesome if could share that this commitment, this purity of purpose and
passion to be God’s person remained and I avoided further rebellion, but, this
would be other than the truth. There was a part of me that longed for the
“world” and all it offered. In Christian circles, they call it “backsliding.”
Let’s just say, I “backslid” enough that it impacted my marriages, (yes
plural), my children, my careers and my peace of mind. There was a cost, a
consequence that far outweighed the ‘pleasures of sin for a season’.
Well, over
time, I have learned somethings, and have grown and matured in my faith walk. I
say this without pride, but with a gratefulness that God is a merciful and kind
God who has forgiven me and allowed me so many blessings. In some ways, I wish
I could say, “And now, I’m there!” I have arrived. I’m holy, I’m restored and
I’m done growing and learning.” Ouch, that’s not the case. This side of heaven,
God continues to work on His children and refine their character. That strong
willed child I was, became a strong-willed woman who at this juncture God is
teaching submission.
Now, if I
had my druthers, I would choose to find some noble, kind, wise, tender-hearted
person to whom I could submit. Yes, that would be awesome. It would be easy to
say, “Yes mam, yes sir to someone like that.” However, we don’t always get to
choose our circumstances, relatives, supervisors, co-workers, or neighbors. We
might think we do, but in reality things change all the time, things out of our
control. So now for me, I’m back in the ‘learning process’. I’m having to pray
more, read my Bible more just to find the strength to not run from the conflict.
I am praying, “God, if I’m done learning these particular lessons (painful),
can I (note the I) change these circumstances?”
Well, as
I’ve aged and sought God one particular principle has become more relevant to
me, that principle is, “Wait on God. Allow Him to open and close doors. Allow
Him to communicate with you when it’s time to go.” A recent sermon I listened
to by Joyce Meyers echoed this principle. God engineers our circumstances for a
reason and purpose. The Bible says, “Jesus learned obedience through the things
He suffered.” If Jesus learned through painful circumstances, who am I to say
to God, “Ouch, this hurts and leave before His timing.”
My pattern has
been in my 65 years of life, when there have been times when circumstances caused
me pain I would change the circumstances. . If the pressure increased, so did
my stress levels. On more than one occasion I fled the circumstances hoping
that new pastures would turn out to be easier, greener fields of opportunity.
In hindsight, sometimes those moves of mine where like the old adage, “Out of
the frying pan into the fire.” I’m sure there is more than one or you reading
this that can relate. Unpleasant relationships, (friendships, marriages),
annoying relatives, exasperating employment situations, painful reminders of
the past, these are all things that might cause us to change our circumstances.
These changes powered by the wish to decrease stress and suffering don’t aways
work or coincide with God’s greater plan for our lives.
If you’re reading
this and don’t believe God has a plan and purpose for your life this may sound
strange, weird and nonsensical. “God?” you might ask, “Who’s that?” I can’t
tell you what to believe, who to believe, or how to believe. I can encourage
you to pray this prayer, “God, I don’t know if you are there, but if you are,
please help me.” Sort of like the person in the Bible who came to Jesus and
prayed, “Lord, I believe, Help my unbelief.” Faith, (believing in something you
can’t see) well it’s something you can’t touch, feel or smell.
I took a
class in Graduate School at the University of Washington that was all about
Faith vs Reason. We read writings from scholars who debated this topic. In
retrospect, it’s kind of odd this course was offered in the Graduate Program,
but back in 1976 it was. I read, I studied, I read some more. There were
excellent discourses about why you should/shouldn’t believe in the existence of
God. There were many involved discussions about how man through reason cannot
discover God, that it is a matter spiritually discerned, not intellectually
perceived.
Well, this
one thing I know, in my life there have
been multiple times I was horribly lost, afraid, alone and I prayed , “God
please help me. I’ve lost my way again. Please forgive, renew me, restore me
and show me the way back to you” and God, through faith in Jesus Christ did
that for me.
So what
about now? What about the trying circumstances I’m in now? Well, I’m waiting
and praying. I’m attempting to just keep doing what I’m supposed to do, in
spite of adverse conditions. I’m waiting for God to show me, reveal to me
through His Word, His Spirit and confirmation of godly people, that I can make
a move. Sometimes, God closes doors, and opens other doors. One old saying is
this, “When God closes one door, He’ll open a window.”
The other
thing I’m doing is trying to keep from being bitter, to allow God to handle the
situations and people. That’s harder then you might think. So much of me wants
to be a strong advocate in my behalf. To “stand up for myself”. To fight.
Leaving it in God’s hand, well for me that’s difficult. So I read my Bible and
claim promises. I pray, I ask others to pray.
I’ve
gleaned a few verses this morning from the Bible that I’ve found comfort and
encouragement from. I’ve written them down here for those of you who also might
be going through a season of testing and discouragement.
Take heart,
God is faithful, it won’t always be night, He has promised us, “Weeping endures
for a night, but joy will come in the morning.”
Until next
time, be blessed and keep looking up!
Robin
Psalm 107: 5 – “Then they cried unto the Lord, in their
trouble, and He delivered them out of their distresses. And He led them forth
by the right way, that they might go to
a city for a dwelling place.”
Psalm 107: 13, 14 “Then
they cried out to the Lord in their trouble. And He saved them out of their
distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and broke
their chains in pieces.”
Psalm 107:28-30
“Then they cry out to the Lord in their trouble, and He
brings them out of their distresses. He calms the storm, so that its waves are
still, they are glad because they are quiet; so He guides them to their desired
haven.”
Psalms 1:1 “Blessed is the man or woman who walks not in the
counsel of the ungodly. Nor stands in the seat of the scornful; but his or her
delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he or she mediates day and
night.
Psalm 2:12 “Blessed are all those who put their trust in
Him.”
Psalm 3:5 “I lay down and slept; I awoke for the Lord sustained
me.”
Psalm 5:8 “Lead me, Lord, in Your righteousness because of my
enemies; Make your way straight before my face.”
Psalm 9:9-10 “The Lord also will be a refuge for the
oppressed. A refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put
their trust in You; For You, Lord, Have not forsaken those who seek You.”
Psalm 16:7-8 “I will bless the Lord who has given me
counsel: My heart also instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord
always before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.”
Psalm 16: 11 “You will show me the path of life; In Your
presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Psalm 17 “Uphold my steps in Your paths, That my footsteps
may not slip.”
Psalm 18:17-19 “He delivered me from my strong enemy. From
those who hated me, For they were too strong for me, They confronted me in the
day of my calamity, But the Lord was my support, He also brought me out into a
broad place: He delivered me because He delighted in me.”
Psalm 18:32 “It is God who arms me with strength, and makes
my way perfect.”
Psalm 18:36 “You enlarged my path under me, so my feet did
not slip.”
Psalm 20:4 “May God grant you according to your heart’s
desire, and fulfill all your purpose.”
Psalm 22:24 “For God has not despised nor abhorred the
affliction of the afflicted: nor has God hidden His face from him, but when he
or she cried to Him, He heard.”
Psalm 23:1-3 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He
makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters; He
restores my soul: He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His names
sake.”
Psalm 25:4-5 “Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your
paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me. For you are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day.”
Psalm 25:10 “All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth,
to such as keep His covenant and His testimonies.”
Psalm 27: 5 “For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in
His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle, He shall hide me; He shall
set me high upon a rock.”
Psalm 27: 11-14 “Teach me Your way, Or Lord, and lead me in
a smooth path, because of my enemies. Do not deliver me to the will of my
adversaries; For false witnesses have risen against me, and such as breathe out
violence, I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the
goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good
courage, and He will shall strengthen your heart; wait, I way on the Lord!”
Psalm 30:4-5 “Sing praise to the Lord, you saints of His, and give thanks at the
remembrance of His holy name.
For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is
for life; Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”
