At the crossroads...............

At the crossroads………. Part I – Isaiah 59

Many times in my life, I have come up hard against a realization that I needed to make a decision, I needed to do something, I needed to makes some changes. Often, dread has accompanied those moments because rather than implicitly trusting  God, I’ve journeyed into the realm of fear. “What if? This is the wrong decision? “What if? This makes things worse?” What if? I live to regret choosing this course of action for years to come?” The “what if’s?” are a scary place to be and much like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz, I inwardly shake with the realization, that  knowing and then choosing the right path to take is a lot more challenging than it might appear.

And so, I pause often times and regroup. I get out my beloved Bible, take time out to prayerfully read, talk to trusted friends, listen to messages that I know contain hope, wisdom and encouragement and then most often wait, and avoid acting impulsively. (this to is difficult. There’s something sort of humanly satisfying to say to yourself, “Ok, enough already, this is what I’m going to do!”)  Being at the crossroads carries its own weight of anxiety because nothing’s settled; it’s still in the land of the unknown. Being in the land of the unknown is uncomfortable because the “not knowingness” brings its own particular load of doubts, fears and insecurities.

And so, I turn to my guidebook for life, the Bible. Often, when I read my Bible, I don’t follow a schedule of on this day, read this chapter, and so on. Oh, I believe there’s a place and purpose for a plan of reading the Bible, but now at this point in my life, much of my reading takes place after prayer. “God,” I pray, “you see this situation I’m in. You see me with all my faults and failings. Please forgive my known sins, help me to change them and show me what else I need to change. Help me to understand your Word by your Holy Spirit and direct me to the passages that will provide me light for my path, help for my journey. Thank you God. Amen” And then I wait. Whatever passages of Scripture come to my mind, I turn there and read.

Today, Isaiah Chapter 59 came into my mind, so I reach to my nightstand, select a Bible that was my dear mothers and begin to read. At one point in my life, I kind of felt the good, ole King James Version was the end all and be all of Bible translations. I had grown up with that translation, my Bible verses in Sunday school memorized were in that translation. Over time, with added experience, I have come to understand that there are many fine translations of the Bible. I believe people should find one that helps them understand what is being said the best. I have several translations and I use them interchangeably.

Isaiah 59

Verse 1- “Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy that it cannot hear.” King James

Verse 1-  “Listen! The Lord’s arm is not too weak to save you, nor is His ear too deaf to hear you call.” New Living Translation, Recovery Bible

Ok, this verse is pretty easy for me to understand. If there’s a communication problem between me and God, the problem isn’t on His end. Often, talking with different groups of people I hear explanations of why people think God doesn’t really care about them and their problems.  For instance, “I believe in God, but I’m not sure He really cares about me.” Or “I believe in God but I don’t think He listens to us, or talks to us, but He set everything in motion.” There are dozens, hundreds, probably millions of explanation people give about why they think God isn’t really interested in them personally, and that their problems don’t matter to Him.  

That’s why I pray and read my Bible. Faith in God is a choice, and needs watering like a garden. If I’m doubting, (which at times I do) it brings me peace to read how the one man came to Jesus, knelt down and prayed this prayer, “I believe Lord, help my unbelief.”  I love this story because it very clearly depicts the human nature of man to doubt, and yet it shows that Jesus, answered His prayer when the man was honest about where he was in the faith continuum and asked for God to help him believe.

There’s another verse I love, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” This verse encourages me that having moments of doubt is part and parcel of the human condition. Understanding that reading the Bible is part of the cure for that doubt is like a lifeline thrown over the bow of ship to a person floating in a storm-tossed sea. You can choose to grab the “life-line” or you can choose to stay in the pain and misery of the sea of doubt.

            Isaiah 59: 2 (King James)

Verse 2- “But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you that He will not hear.”

            Verse 2-  “It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, He has                     turned away and will not listen anymore.” New Living Translation, Recovery Bible

When my spirit is clear, uncluttered by sins, or negative actions on my part, I feel happy. I have been happy after being deserted by my first husband, alone, pregnant, few resources, I was truly happy because my heart was right with God. I have been happy in the middle of a catastrophe, (ill health, family tragedy) if my heart was right with God.        What often happens with Christians, and me in particular is I become complacent about my spiritual life. I’m not partying, I’m not drinking, using drugs, stealing, cheating, lying etc, so “I’m good.” Only, there’s a whole lot more God is interested in our character then the “don’t do this list” of our own making. God wants the attitudes of our heart to be right with Him. We cannot harbor, bitterness, anger, resentments, callousness to suffering of others, cowardice to do right, fearfulness, envy, covetnesses and the list goes on. Our mind is to be the mind of Christ.

“That’s impossible!” you say, and I’m right behind you, without divine help, it is impossible. That’s where daily inventory comes in. It’s where having people in your life whom you trust and respect and who are willing to speak into your life words of encouragement, challenge and caution come in. That’s where prayer to God and daily Bible reading comes in. Our human natures, (put mine on the top of that list) are prone to wander. We might quit one bad “sinful” habit, and an attitude of the heart and mind comes in and pollutes, as it were, our spirit. God is holy, and it is only as we rely on 1) His forgiveness and atonement of the cross (Salvation) 2) The cleansing of his Word and Spirit (Sanctification)  3) His promptings through circumstances, other people, his Word, and His Holy Spirit that something in our spirit and heart are not quite right (Conviction) and 4) Our attitude of heart, mind and spirit that asks for forgiveness and cleansing daily, (Restoration) that we begin to  acquire His holy nature.

As a child, I waited to watch the weekly show put on by Disney. I loved the action adventure, but mostly I loved the feature length cartoons. Even without the luxury of color television I would sit enthralled as the characters acted out the story. The story of Pinocchio  was a story I loved. The rebellious Pinocchio was someone I could relate to. The Jiminy Cricket character, whispering into Pinocchio’s ear to me became representative of that part of me that knew to do right, the conscience, and as a Christian, the Holy Spirit.  Please don’t misunderstand, I am not meaning to be disrespectful in comparing the Holy Spirit to Jiminy Cricket, I am sharing with you what I understood through the eyes of a child. I knew there was a battle between right and wrong going on in me and I understood that often I would choose the wrong path, even though I knew, and had an inward knowing that it was wrong. As an adult, increasingly I have become aware of how strong this struggle is like Paul shared in the New Testament.  I agree that the will is in me as a Christian, but the “won’t” of human nature is strong. It is a battle but thank God that victory is won, if we will only submit to God and ask Him to help us become what He wants us to be.

It’s amazing to me that after the thousands of serious mistakes I have made in my life, pride can still be an issue, but the fact of the matter is, it’s (pride) still there. It is such a strong force within my nature that if left unchecked, I would become a bitter, angry person 24/7 because of how the “me” has been treated by others. Weeding out resentment and bitterness from the garden of my soul required constant vigilance and daily tending. Much like the prayer, “I believe, help my unbelief.” I have to pray, “God, I’m hurt, angry and bitter. Give me your Spirit to forgive, give me your grace to soften my hard heart, and give me your understanding to know what to do.” It is an ongoing process, I will never “arrive” this side of heaven, I can only pray that my path will become brighter and brighter with the sunshine of God’s love as I approach the end of my life.

So, back to keeping your spirit free from anything that would come between you and God. I pray, “God show me my faults” Then I pray, “God help me to change my faults.” Then, and this is the difficult part, I change my faults. Painful?  Difficult? Well nigh impossible? Yes, yes and yes. But, and this is critical, without this constant purging as it were of our old natures we will continue to live defeated, purposeless, passionless lives where we’re Christians but our light instead of being a light to the world, becomes a feeble flame that barely lights the path in front of our own feet.

Isaiah 59:3 “For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity. Your lips have spoken lies, your tongue has muttered perverseness.” (King James)

Isaiah 59:3 “Your hands are the hands of murderers, and your fingers are filthy with sin. Your lips are full of lies, and your mouth spews corruption.” (New Living Translation, Recovery Bible)

Well, I’ve been there done that and thank God, His grace is sufficient for me. I’m one person that is very grateful that asking Jesus into my heart, to forgive my sin and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness has freed me from the burden and shame of my past.  Living in the land of regret can be an awful place to be. There is no hope, you can’t change what happened. The path only leads to despair and hopelessness. But praise God, I’ve been set free!

Don’t mistake the above for my being deluded into thinking there is no need for change in my life now, thank goodness I don’t have that delusion. I’m aware that like so many others I’m thankful  for the grace of God that allows to be in the state of change, being able to  lift up my head because of His forgiveness while acknowledging I still have a long ways to go on my journey.

Isaiah 59:4

Vs. 4 – “ None calleth for justice, nor any pleadeth  for truth; they trust in vanity and speak lies: they conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity.” King James

Vs 4- “No one cares about being fair and honest. The people’s lawsuits are based on evil deeds, and then give birth to sin.” New Living Translation, Recovery Bible

For me, this is a difficult passage because it is so complicated in real life. In real life, there are so many things happening that are wrong. War, starvation, abuse, neglect, intimidation, dishonesty, manipulation  the list could go on for pages. We live in a corrupt world where right and wrong in societies eye is constantly changing.  Power, position and privilege can be mis-used and impact others in horrible ways, even to the point of death. What battles am I supposed to take up and which battles am I to leave alone?

In experience I have found that just being right doesn’t insure freedom from painful situations. People who are doing things that are evil and corrupt don’t stand meekly aside and say, “Oh, thank you. I didn’t realize I was doing that, let me stop that and sorry for anything pain this might have caused you.” Nope, that doesn’t happen. Instead, you encounter a show of force where lying, manipulation, intimidation reach a new, unprecedented level and you discover your adversary doesn’t have to follow Roberts rules or order, and any order for that matter. Evil unleashed is an awful thing to behold or be the target of. This is one of those places that I say, “But God.” Honestly I have learned to fear reprisals in life for standing up for principles, or persons. I am in many ways, still that cowardly lion, fearing to take a stand for the increased discomfort it can bring to me personally. Embarrassing to admit but impossible to ignore.

However, the closer I get to God through prayer, Bible reading and a willingness to admit my weaknesses, God empowers me and strengthens me. Do I like embarrassment and intimidation? No! Do I believe that God is greater than the power of evil? Yes!  Each person needs to determine in their own mind and heart where that line in the sand is, and then through prayer to God determine that even though they know they will be walking through the fire, God will protect them, He will strengthen them, He will comfort them, and He will make a way where there is no way.

Note: just took a break from writing. It is a gorgeous, beautiful, golden sunny Fall day. The rain drops on the tree branches are silvery, points of diamonds, the fall leaves are washed and bright with their yellows and oranges. So much of me wants to pack up and head to the coast to drink in the cool, brisk air, see the billows of the ocean waves and walk the forests trails and say the last goodbye to the season as the leaves bathe the ground with wave, upon wave of color. But, I feel, someone somewhere needs to read what I am writing. This blog goes all around the world and there are people reading in in countries far removed from ours. I will make one concession to the brilliant day, I will make this a 2-part series. Isaiah 59: 1-8 Part I and Isaiah 59 9- 21 Part II.

`           Isaiah 59:5

Vs.5- They hatch cockatrice eggs and weave the spider’s web; he that eatest of their eggs dieth, and that which is crushed breakest forth into a viper.” King James

Vs. 5- They hatch deadly snakes and weaves spiders webs. Whoever falls into their webs will die and there’s danger in even getting near them.” New Living Translation, Recovery Bible

            Ok, when I was younger this was a very difficult passage for me to understand. It’s easier now for me to comprehend because I have seen time and time again how people think what they are doing will never be uncovered. Carefully they weave their differing plots and schemes, not realizing in a moment of time they can be all swept away (like a spiders web). I have observed how other people caught in their web of lies and deceit, occasionally squirm  uncomfortably and try to get loose but almost every time some morsel, or bribe, lures them back  until they are incapable  of escape, they have comprised their own values so much their own fear keeps them captive.

            I have heard it said, “All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.” This impacted me when I first heard it and it impacts me know. Having been raised in traditional church setting, I was taught about that thou shalt nots. Don’t do this, don’t do that. The moral and ethical considerations of having to do something about the evil was not as clearly presented. Yes, we were supposed to have a missionary spirit to teach others about Jesus, but the social consciousness, the standing up for the weak, the powerless, the poor and the afflicted just wasn’t taught that much.

            As a senior citizen, I have increasingly become aware that God calls us for a purpose. He empowers us for a plan, and if we are willing He uses us to stand up for the cause of those who need help. ( Chapter 61 in Isaiah). Sorting through the what and the who and the where and the how, again, that’s the challenge. Determining when to say something, to do something and not fear the onslaught of possible reprisals,  that takes wisdom and God-given courage and strength. I just realized it’s starting to sound if I’m creating a coalition of  people for positive change or something. That’s not what I’m trying to accomplish. I’m trying to walk through these verse with those of you reading and challenge you to search your own heart and life and see if there are places and situations where you need to take a stand. And then, prayerfully, carefully, do what you can to make a difference for good.

Isaiah 59: 6

Vs. 6- Their webs shall not become garments, neither shall they cover themselves with their works; their works are work of iniquity and the act of violence is in their hands.” King James

Vs 6-“Their webs can’t be made into clothing, and nothing they do is productive. All their activity is filled with sin, and violence is their trademark. Their feet run to do evil, and they rush to commit murder.” New Living Translation, Recovery Bible

One of my children has a sense of humor, on my new phone they made my ring tone the theme song to the TV show Matlock. If I forget to turn my phone off at work, the Matlock theme flows down the hall leaving no doubt as to which senior member of the staff forgot to put their phone on silence. I like the show Matlock, it’s an hour of “who done it” that gets resolved at the end. An easy way for me to unwind. Life, however, can be an awful lot like a mystery show. There are wheels of power and strategy, within wheels. Before I start sounding too much like a conspiracy theorist, let me explain. What I’ve seen is that once people compromise a given set of standards, they have to involve themselves in a web of lies to cover things up. They have to bribe, or intimidate others not to expose the circumstances. Things don’t get better they get worse and worse. Fear drives people to make more and more unwise, unethical choices until there literally is no way out of the mess. The spider web analogy here is Isaiah describes their “life” beautifully.

I think the “trademark” comment in the New Living Translation sums things up nicely. In Scripture, Jesus often talked about you will know them by their fruit. For each of us, who profess to be a Christian, it is imperative that we be first and foremost our own “fruit inspectors” as it were. Are our lives in sync with the Gospel? Are we living above reproach in every area of our lives? Are we being transparent with others or are we covering up who we really are? Getting right with God is simple, “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:9.Getting right with man, not so simple. AA and NA members will tell  you this is one of the most difficult of the steps to take, making amends.

For me, there are some situations in my past where I can’t make amends. I have to leave it to God. Other situations, like with my children I try to be transparent and say I’m sorry for things I’ve done to hurt their feelings in the past. I can’t change those things, but I hope by not denying them I contribute to their healing of memories.

Isaiah 59:7

Vs- 7- “Their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed innocent blood; their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; wasting and destruction are in their paths.” King James

Vs 7 – “Their feet run to do evil and they rush to commit murder. They think only about sinning, misery and destruction always follow them. “New Living Translation, Recovery Bible

What I’ve noticed in my own life is that in those times where I’ve wandered away from God, my conscience becomes “jaded.” For those of you for whom that term might not have meaning, let me explain. If you are walking away from God, you’ll inevitable begin thinking about things you know you shouldn’t. You’ll have a twinge of conscience, “That’s not right, what are you doing?”  Just like Pinocchio in the Disney movie, if you willfully continue to do things you know are wrong, your conscience grows weaker. You rationalize things, “Oh that’s not so bad, it’s not like I was committing murder or something.” You explain things, “Well, if they hadn’t been such a jerk to me, I never would have told them that.” You justify things, “Who do they think they are, treating me like that? I’ll show them a thing or two.” “His wife doesn’t really love him like she should, why should it be wrong for me to be with him when we really care about each other?”

When you follow your own will, you continue to move farther and farther away from God and your life goes from bad to worse. Your mind instead of becoming your best ally, doesn’t support you being “good” or ethical, it supports you doing what you need (and/or want to do). Your spirit becomes hardened to the things of God and the needs of hurting people. You know how to mimic the right responses but that’s all it is mimicking.  You are no longer acting in the best interests of others, or your employer, or your family, or your church, or your friends you become a slave to the YOU dictatorship. And YOU, well, now might be a good place to introduce the whole discussion of right and wrong, good and evil, God and Satan. Self, or YOU if given its reign to do whatever it wants won’t naturally choose the good of life. We are by nature, (human nature) self-seeking, pleasure-seeking beings. It is only as we seek God, and discover His propitiation, (provision) for our sinful nature through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ that we become partakers of the Divine nature. To grow in the grace of that nature, we need to continue to follow Him and seek His will, and goodness for our lives. When we rebel, or walk away, we don’t retain the image of His son, or Divine nature. Our human nature becomes dominate and the things we do, the self-seeking, the pleasure-seeking, allows the compromises to come back with full force and we are back to square one. This verse aptly describes the outcome, “misery and destruction always follow them.”

There’s a verse that says, “The pleasures of sin for a season.” There is another verse, “Be sure your sins will find you out.” I have found both these verses to be true in my own life and in the lives of people I know. However, the pleasures are short lived and the consequences of my actions when in relapse mode of Christianity are long-lasting and painful to myself and those around me. End of matter, it’s simply not worth it. Does everyone in the middle of their “run” as it were acknowledge “it’s not worth it?”  No, not hardly. They are most often caught up in the excitement and thrill of the adventure, unaware of what the end result will be. Will they listen to sound counsel from people who see their path of destruction? Most often not, occasionally yes.

Isaiah Chapter 59:8

Vs 8 King James- “The way of peace they know not; and there is no judgement in their goings; they have made them crooked paths; whosoever goeth therein shall not know peace.”

Vs 8 “ They don’t know where to find peace or what it means to be just and good. They have mapped out crooked roads, and no one who follows them knows a moment’s peace.” New Living Translation- 

            In my own life, I have discovered that peace is something I value highly. Peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of spirit. I cannot control circumstances, but with God’s help I can learn to control me. Learning to allow God to help me continue to make decisions that are ethical, purposeful, helpful, noble and of eternal value gives me peace. Peace in the midst of the storm.  “Fear not, neither be afraid. In this world you will have trouble, (tribulation) but be of good cheer (hope) I have overcome the world.” Jesus

Dear God,

            This morning, this moment, help me to be someone who mirrors your love. Someone who daily takes before you my personal short-comings and asks for forgiveness and cleansing. Help me to become someone who does not fear, but speaks the truth in love. Help me to be someone who tries to follow your will in my life and helps others to find their way to home with you. Help me to not only find peace, but to be a peace-maker. Help me to stand up for what is right and to be a voice for those who are unable to speak for themselves.

Thank you God for all you have done for me, thank you for your mercy, your grace, your strength and your leading.

In Jesus Name,

Amen,

Your daughter,

Robin

To each of you reading this today may the God of all comfort give you joy and peace in believing. May you continue to discover your God-given destiny. May He grant you the courage and strength to do those things you need to do. May you each have continued joy in the morning.