Day 92 And there was a calm....

Day 92 – And there was a calm…….

Whew! After several weeks of intense over-load at work, with over-flowing groups, too many lectures, and just way too many people to deal with effectively I’m beat. Today, I look out on the weekend with wistful eyes towards some kind of break, to refresh, renew, and rest. (Would that be r & r & r? LOL)

I’m still reading through the book of Luke in the Bible, trying to imbibe more of who Christ was into my mind and heart. Today, Chapter 8.  Of everything I read, the verse that stood out to me the most was verse 24. In this scene, the disciples and Jesus were in a boat crossing a lake or sea.  A storm came and the rain and wind and waves started filling the boat and they began to sink. Jesus had fallen asleep and was oblivious to their plight. Frantic they finally in desperation decided to wake him up.

 “And they came to him and said, ‘Jesus, we are dying! Don’t you care?’ And Jesus work up from his nap and spoke to the wind and the waves, and there was a calm.”

I love this phrase, and there was a calm.  I can’t help wanting this in my own life, a calm. When I was young, I loved hearing about the ‘eye of the storm’. It amazed me to see photos of hurricanes with that spot of calmness in them. It was weird and neat at the same time.

I am looking for that eye in the storm. A current phrase going round the treatment center I work at is this, you can’t change the wind but you can change the direction of your sail. Right now, working and reworking the figures of my finances I can’t quit work. Frankly, I’d like to. I eye boxes of fabric and think, “Hmm, I’d like to sew for a while.” I eye my paints and easel and think, “Hmm, I’d like to paint a couple of new pictures.” I look at my keyboard and piano and think, “Hmm, I’d like to write a new song.” But, I’m too tired now.

 I've never sailed, but what’s been explained to me is that if you use the wind and run against it you can gain speed and use it to propel you further where you want to go. Without wind, you’re in a calm where you’re stuck where you are. Well, me wanting a calm is wanting a respite from the grind, but perhaps if I look at it differently I can use these difficulties to gain strength for the journey. To ‘ride the winds of adversities’ so to speak to new horizons of life.

Hmm, sounds good on paper, but the fact of the matter is I’m with the disciples on this one and I’m praying, “Help Lord! Don’t you see I’m perishing? Make this go away!”

 In the mean while, I’m not quitting. I have family and myself to support and it would be idiotic to say, “Hmm this is hard, I think I’ll just give up.” Thank the good Lord that He has strengthened me to persevere, to stand fast, dig my feet in and keep plodding along. In the middle of all this work I continue to pray that with God’s help maybe I can contribute to somebodies recovery process. In the middle of the mountains of paperwork, there are people, struggling to even know how to survive without sticking a needle in their arm, or snorting some dope up their nose. The very basics of existing without drugs are an unknown to many of the men I work with.

So I pray, and ask my church to pray. I like the phrase, “little is much when God is in it.” I claim this. I am an aging, (right now tired) person. What can I do? Well, with God’s help, something. I can encourage, I can offer comfort, I can hold accountable, I can teach, I can share, I can pray. Only God, can bring the calm in the middle of the storm.

The most valuable thing I can do where I work is to consistently point men in the direction of their Creator. To encourage them to seek their Higher Power. To search their hearts, souls and minds to discover what they really believe about life, good and evil, and to ask themselves the question, “Do I need God in my life?”

We have church at the treatment center. And we have volunteer pastors who come in. Without telling people what to believe, I can encourage them to pray and ask God to help them. I can encourage them to attend church. And if they ask what do I believe, I can share with them about my faith.

So, right now, in the middle of the storm of my life and work, I cry out, “Jesus help!” If He chooses, He can bring a calm. If the storm continues, the promises are to give me the strength I need; to hold my right hand and see me safely through.

Today, I must get away to either the mountains or the sea. It’ll cost me about $30 in gas, but I have to go for my own mental health. If I don’t renew, I won’t be able to listen to the troubles of my clients with patience, and they so desperately need somebody to hear them. So, my day begins, Weight Watchers meeting, grocery shopping, and then a hop, skip and a jump to - I think the ocean. The salt-sea air I missed last week will this weekend be a bit more of a gale but my soul needs this wind of a new direction to brush away the cobwebs of my life.

To each of you reading this, may the comfort of the Bible be to you a sweet refuge in the midst of your own storm. Take time to get away and renew, Jesus did, and I believe it’s ok if occasionally we allow ourselves a reprieve of our own. And there was a calm…… may you each experience your own calm this weekend, be blessed.

Day 92 Cure in a bottle

        My son-in-law has a distinct sense of humor. Some years back he started a tradition that both amuses and puzzles me. When our families are together, either on a trip somewhere or just celebrating one of many birthdays, he brings me gifts.  Not just any gifts but gifts of strange, weird, health-food cures in unusual bottles, with unusual names. First let me start off, these unique gifts are not cheap, they’re spendy little tokens of his unique humor. On the colorful labels are promises of new beginnings, refreshing, renewal, memory enhancement, energy boosting restorative powers.  The most recent boasted of containing billions, (yes billions) of live cultures of several micro-organisms renowned for their almost magical powers of creating, a new a better me. 

        It amazes me how many different products he finds, and how unusual the packaging, bottle shapes, colorful fluids, and unending rhetoric about how useful, necessary, and powerful these substances are. Often, the liquids have murky, floating substances that look rather daunting.  Quite frankly, I fear drinking them will induce some sort of psychotic break where he can say, “See I told you she was nuts.” With a slight sense of guilt that maybe he might have finally sent his “monster-in-law” around the bend. Before I have you thinking he’s a bad son-in-law let me affirm he’s a good, young man. Responsible, hard-working, good husband, father, but….. he doesn’t always agree with my viewpoint, and these gifts of cures in a bottle are his humorous ways of pointing out, maybe I could use a little help in my mental faculties. (Puns intended).

        Anyhow, you only have to watch a few TV specials to realize, “cures” are no means limited to health foods in bottles. There are books, tapes, CD’s, pod casts, web sites, courses, potions, creams, lotions, vitamin supplements, mineral supplements, exercise routines, exercise equipment, religions, mystic beliefs,  all promising to help make you more this, more that, and just more, more, more.

        I am part and parcel of this culture and I’ve had the unique life experience that I’ve taken in much of this mind-set via University flavored education. Having gone through enough class time to be officially “smart”, culturally correct, and still wondering why I feel the need to do more, be more, and achieve more at age 62 where I should be slowing down. Having lived through the sixties, where the zeitgeist of the time was to just “be” who you were, where in the world did this become-being what you are not?

        Part of the answer to this enigma lies in the fact I am a Christian.  I believe that when I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior that He gave me a new life.  This new God-life is in the process of regenerating me to become a new creature in Him. This war between the ‘natural man’ and the renewed spiritual man constitutes a continual process of choices about what is right and wrong. I read my Bible daily, because I’m finding even with the desire of my heart to be God-like, myself, my will fight against becoming a person who forgives, loves the unlovely, and lets go of attachment to worldly things. I’m reading through the Gospels presently. I started with John, and now I’m in Luke. Yesterday I read Chapter 6 of Luke. Today, realizing that this chapter is so jam-packed with nuggets of truth I re-read it during my devotionals.

        Without God in me, there is no way I can even approach doing what this chapter says. Be kind to those people who hurt you. Do good to those who despise you. Hmm…. So much of me gets tired of people who hurt others purposely than lie about it. I suppose it doesn’t help that I work all day with criminals, and used to be criminals. Why should I suppose they would act any way else?

        I like the verse, “Study to show yourself approved of God, rightly understanding the Word of truth.” This verse tells me that some sort of effort is required on my part. Yes, I’m saved by grace, (undeserved favor from God), but I play a part in renewing my mind, heart and life to live the life God wants me to live.  I can’t get my “God fix” from a bottle, a pill, a book, a course, a speaker, a training…. I have to work out daily the fine tunings of becoming a person who reflects Jesus.

        What I’ve found is that the more resistant I am to allowing the changes to my personality that I know need to happen, the more circumstances place me in places where the very virtue I’m struggling with is required.  Changing isn’t always easy or pleasant, sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes the people placed in my pathways are people I’d just as soon not deal with. It’s as if I have an internal people sorter where I say, “O.K, I like this one God; this one’s not too bad; this one over here, well they’re ok; but God this person here, ahhh, not so much.”

        What I’ve also found is that I can only handle so much enforced contact with people I really don’t like and then I have to get away for my own sanity.  It makes me feel better to read that Jesus often went to the mountains and seashore to be alone and pray. If Jesus needed to get away from people, it’s ok, if I feel that way too.

        So today, a holiday from work, I am luxuriating in being able to choose who I will be with.  A blessing of a vacation from the must do’s, must see’s, must talk with. Already 10 am, a few hours have slipped away but I so enjoyed my quiet moments with coffee and Bible. A chance to eat my eggs and toast and know for once, I don’t have to rush to get ready to go to work.

        In my heart of heart, I want to drive to the ocean, to breathe in the fresh salt-sea air and realize this ocean has been here since the beginning of time.  It’s 11 now and I realize my window of opportunity is shrinking. I’m not sure if resting would be a better use of my time. It’s another choice, one of many that make up the fabric of my life.

        Some of you reading this may relate to struggling to love the unlovely in your own lives. Perhaps you’ve experienced your own sense of urgency to be more, do more, and come up against the walls of reality that say, “There is only so much time. You only have so much energy.” If so, hello and welcome to my world.       If you haven’t had that experience, well wait a while, life has its own way of taking us down paths where we learn new lessons.

        Today, while there is still time, seek to know God, without God life is just too hard. With God, life is easier now, and (bonus!) with Jesus we will have eternity!  Note: with no bills! Yeah!

        Well, I’m off to my day, leaving my son-in-law’s gift of the bottle of organic raw Komucha on the counter. I guess the billions of several live cultures will have to wait, for now I’m good.  Be happy, be blessed and have a wonderful day!

         

Day 91 - Time for a new direction

Hello to all,
    I am here in a mall in a small Washington town. After a week of no rain, the skies are threatening and I know the weekend will be a soggy one. I just went to my Weight Watchers meeting after a week of too much work, too many clients and many days of working through lunch; long hours, longer commute. After a loss of 4 pounds last week, this week I gained 1.2. It was a difficult week, and this is reflected in my weight.
   I was talking with a family member this morning about the fact that having knowledge about millions of suffering people somehow doesn't help me with my attitude about things in my own life. You would think it would, wouldn't you?  I gave a lecture about AIDS and the 2009 facts I had were at that time 29 million children world-wide had AIDS.  I can't imagine the suffering those numbers represent, how many kids in pain, hopeless, and dying. 
   It's amazing to me that I can even complain about being over-worked, or not getting to go to Disney World. How can it be possible that my values are so skewed that the sheer enormity of my life of blessings opposed to so many others life of suffering doesn't move me to my knees to thank God for my blessings?
   I'm not sure where my spirit of gratitude went, but I think maybe sheer exhaustion impacts the human spirit's ability to look for the good, to be thankful for blessings. 
   Some eight months ago I began this blog with the intention of sharing my journey in reclaiming my physical fitness  It's been strange how the holistic nature of life has become interwoven with this journey. At present, I am still pursuing a healthier lifestyle but have encountered a few bumps in the road. When pushed by circumstances outside of my control, my routines suffer and I have the experience of taking some steps back.  
   Recouping from these failures means, picking myself up, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and maybe, just maybe choosing some new directions for my life. The routine of church continues, as does my Bible reading and prayers. I am hesitant to take action to change circumstances too quickly, but, at this point I am praying for change.
  If at all possible, I think finding a balance between work, home and family would be a good thing for me. If I am spending 12.5 hours of my days, five days a week, and am worn out to the point of stopping my exercise, recreational activities, is this a good thing?  I know there are millions of people who are caught in the same rat race of long hours, hard work just to keep a home, food, and all the other things going. However, maybe somehow I can change this scenario for my life. 
  Reading in Proverbs 16:9 today, I read, "A person's mind plans their way, but God orders their steps."  I like the phrase, but God.  Right now in my life, my prayers are that God will intervene and show me a way out of this current path where I'm exhausted all the time.  I would like to be with family and friends, not sitting in a chair, falling asleep, waking to work again.
  God is good, and I have a three day weekend.  I am very grateful.  I was offered over-time  for working another day, on top of the week I had already worked, but I turned it down. How useful is a couple of hundred dollars if you're sitting in an easy chair dozing off too tired to even do life?  Not much, so I turned it down with a thank you.
  I believe that this awareness I'm developing about just how challenging work can be will help me be more understanding to others who are on a similar treadmill, or perhaps an even harder one. I must keep in mind that there are so many people, even wanting and lacking food to eat, I am blessed beyond measure at this time.  I will cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving to realize even in my hardships I am so truly blessed.
  So, three days to re-evaluate, and perhaps with God's help come up with a revised life plan. I will keep you posted. Never, never, never give up, today might be the day your weeping will end and joy will come in the morning. Be blessed.

Day 90 a year and a day

        I work with criminals. Men who for the most part have spent, ten, twenty, thirty years or more in the criminal justice system. Juvenile detention, jails, prisons, probation, Department of Corrections, it’s been the pattern of their lives. A familiar phrase that I’ve picked up from them, is a year and a day. For some reason, judges give that as a sentence for any number of crimes. The guys try to explain to me the “point” system, how much for this, how much time for that, but I’m not really into it.  I call it the “new math”, because often they will try to tell me that well, if they would have gone to prison instead of treatment they only would have done ‘x’ amount of time, with credit for ‘good time’, jail time etc.  Sometimes, the ‘new math’ makes it sound as if the prison is going to owe them time for their crimes.

        All I know is that for the men in my group, they were facing a prison sentence of 12-60 months that they traded for a DOSA, (Drug Offender Sentencing Alternative) treatment that lets them go through treatment of 3 – 6 months inpatient treatment instead of prison. That means that often men go before the judge saying, “Yes your Honor, I really need drug treatment”, just to get less time. Are they motivated to change?  Not so much.

        My job involves trying to create an environment where their motivation to find a new life, to stop using drugs, and committing crimes might occur. Yikers!! Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that without God coming into their lives in a supernatural way, the motivation to change just isn’t going to happen. Regret, shame, remorse, repentance are virtues that by in large don’t naturally occur in someone who has spent years, lying, cheating, stealing and worse as an everyday thing. Every man gets a J and S, (Judgment and Sentence) that comes from the courts. In that a brief list of their crimes is listed. I try not to focus on those crimes when I work with the guys, if I did, I might get discouraged and possibly be afraid.

        I am a 62 year old grandmother lecturing groups of 36 convicted felons about life, guilt and shame, and a bunch of other topics that many of the men could care less about. I have to keep them interested, stop them from talking unless called upon, make them put their books and homework away and pay attention. It’s a weird deal. My own family doesn’t have a clue what I do on a daily basis.

        We have rule violations written for the men by staff that I have to give the men. I have to take away privileges from big, tough, guys (most of them), who are not at all happy. Some of them argue, cuss me out, puff up like they’re going to hit me, etc. I’ve learned to stare them down, be ready to ‘go to the mat’, aka let their CCO know they are not willing to program, and have them “cuffed out” and sent to jail/prison if they aren’t willing to comply.

        Ongoing, I ask the people in my church to pray for me and ask God to surround me with His presence and protection. I pray for strength and wisdom, because with 180 of them in my building it could go wrong at any time. I’ve been with men yelling, saying they will going to kill somebody; I’ve been with men swearing, yelling, ready to hit. 

        Remarkably, a tribute to God alone, me, old lady that I am, has the highest rate for graduates on the DOSA floor. What this means, is that consistently more of the men I work with finish treatment. Our agency measures this and sends out charts, and there I am with a 94% completion rate.  I am competing with counselors who themselves were addicts, heroin, meth, alcohol. Counselors who are much younger, tougher than me, but God, who is rich in mercy, and who gives strength to the weak, continues to bless what I do.   I don’t take credit for these results. I know there are women and men who pray daily for my men, and for me. I am thankful for these prayers because sometimes the sheer magnitude of facing another day with sometimes two hours of lectures, three hours of group, 3 hours of 1x1’s, and piles of paperwork makes me want to flee to a warmer climate, far, far away from this much responsibility.

      But God, who is rich in His mercy has me tucked into a new office with a wall of windows facing the sky. Next to me is my friend who loves God and just got his Master’s degree in Chaplaincy. Next to him is our supervisor who is on his churches’ worship team, and happens to go to the same kind of church as me. He loves God and that common faith strengthens me and helps me not feel so vulnerable to the onslaught of men, many of whom are intent on doing what they want, getting what they want no matter how unpleasant they have to be.

        Truth be told, there is kind of a “prison” code where it’s not too cool to be mean to an old lady like myself, so many of the guys step up to protect me. Once when we almost had a riot, my group surrounded me in lecture and had a plan of how to get me out safely if a fight broke out. Well, remembering that time makes me want to cry. It was scary to say the least.

        I try to realize that these guys are men Jesus wants to change. That there are mothers, fathers, children, wives, brothers, sisters, grandmas, hoping, praying that these same guys will somehow quit using drugs. That they can stop worrying that they will end up dead, or in prison, again, or involved in murdering somebody, but will just be able to have “normal” lives. I try to see the good in these guys, to look for areas of promise; to encourage them to create a better plan for their lives.

        I challenge them, and encourage them to use their time in treatment to seek their Higher Power, to explore what they think about God, and to pray and ask the question, “God if you’re there, will you help me?”  I can’t tell them about Jesus, but I can encourage them to go to Celebrate Recovery or church, knowing that there the message of the gospel is preached. Many of the men share how they have asked Jesus into their hearts and lives. Some of them have been baptized.

        A week or so I thought I would soon be leaving this job, and moving on. Now, circumstance with family and financial obligations have created a situation where I know unless a miracle happens I’m staying put. Will I be there a year and a day? ( I’ve been there for three years already.) I don’t know, I only know I will continue to seek God on a daily basis to try to help me to be what He wants me to be. I know how weak I am, I know He alone is my source of strength. I cannot look ahead, the way seems too long, I can only live for today. There are so many wonderful hymns that have lines of encouragement, many of those melodies and lines come to comfort me through my days. Sometimes, when I’m walking the hallways I will sing a few phrases, the words of praise echoing off the long halls and walls. My first group room, was a round room with a ceiling of over thirty feet high. It had been the old chapel in the days that the building had been a Catholic hospital. The nuns used to come pray there and an old Catholic tapestry some 16 feet long hangs still on the wall, religious symbols woven in bright textural hues. In that chapel, the acoustics are wonderful and sometimes singing there, a “God moment” occurred and I could see that even in the darkest nights God can enter in.

        Another “God moment” occurred this week, when a church family stepped up to help me. They drove twice a day, twenty some miles round trip to take a family member to appointments. I really appreciated their kindness. There have been many other times when the church has stepped up to help my family in the last year.

        If you don’t have a church home, and you are trying to tackle the mountains in your own life alone I encourage you to take a step of faith and find a place to attend church. Yes, it’s difficult to get to know people; yes, there are challenges; but if you persist, you will find that eventually being with other people who love God will help provide strength, comfort and help for your own difficulties. My prayers go with you. You - are many unknown people who are reading this. I can see from the world map that there are those of you from the far corners of the world who read my blog, but I will perhaps never see your face.  To each of you, remember God hears and answers prayer, be blessed.

       

Day 89 Comfort in the midst of the storm

      This am, dark still shrouding the earth with its blanket of darkness, I sit alone in my room drinking coffee and reading my Bible and devotionals. The dogs are waking up, the grandmother cat, Winnie, finds a place to take a short nap after having lapped up her saucer of milk. It is a quiet peaceful time, neighbors not yet up, the distant sounds of cars,  few and far between.

I love these moments of time when I can bathe my soul in hope and comfort. It is as if each morning, I reset my ‘positive clock’ with words of inspiration, then over the course the day, people and circumstances wear that clock down until, at last, before sleeping I realize it and I are both worn out and have no more left to give.

Recently I’ve been re-reading the Gospel of John. I am in hopes that the more I steep my mind and heart in the words of Jesus, the more those words will become part and parcel of who I am. I remember as a teenager becoming enamored with tye-dyed t-shirts. It was the 60’s and tye-dye spread from San Francisco to the rest of the US as a fad. I took my allowance, went to the store and bought several packages of Rit dye. It seemed magical in a way, tiny boxes, with so much power.

I can remember trying to create the bright patterns I’d seen in movies, on TV and in stores. It seemed so easy. I got a big kettle, put in the dye and water and followed the directions. I waited, but never long enough, my colors were always anemic shadows of the hues I wanted. I lacked the patience to wait until the dyes had done their work; I wanted to see the t-shirts, now!

Much of my life has been like trying to make those t-shirts, I want to see the results now! I set big goals, I create complicated plans, but the pattern has been at times I’ll grow tired of waiting for the results and stop short of reaching my goal. Spiritually, waiting is a principle that is scattered throughout scripture as being a key ingredient in the ‘God-walk’. Waiting and patience, both virtues that are only acquired by going through things, aka suffering.

Well, most of the people I know don’t like suffering, or waiting. It’s difficult, it’s complicated, and it requires a continual turning of heart and mind towards God in an attitude of faith believing that eventually the night of weeping will be over, and joy really will come in the morning. It also requires believing that some good will come out of all the pain, and it won’t be just wasted effort.

 

This am, reading my devotionals a couple of verses stood out to me, here they are:

“All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

2^nd Corinthians 1: 2- 4  

        Well, the whole part about us being comforted so that we can comfort others makes sense. A client recently kept throwing out the word empathy.  It seemed as if at the time it was a manipulation to allow some people to get away with not following the rules, a vain attempt to evoke empathy as a rationale to over-look violations. Empathy, sympathy and comfort can sometimes all be lumped together into a mushy kind of emotional blanket people throw out to cover up the pain of life.

        I believe comfort in the sense of the comfort God gives is more than that. The Holy Spirit is described as the Comforter. Paul refers to the “comfort of the Scriptures.” Comfort to me means a deeper kind of knowing that no matter what, God will help me.  That no matter how dark it might be in my life, that He is still there and He loves me and has a purpose and plan for my life. When I try to comfort others, it is not so much that I tell them, “Yes I see how terrible that is. Yes, it is horrible.” But that I try to reassure them that in the midst of the storm God is still there. That I share:

 

Well, He’s brought me through the fire,

 And He’s saved me from the flood.

 He’s redeemed me through his power

 And He’s cleansed me with His blood.

 And when my heart became so broken,

 I couldn’t take another step,

 That’s when my God reached down and said,

“Child it’s time for you to get up.” 

Copyright 2006 robin dray

      Without God as part of the equation, comfort is a hollow use of meaningless platitudes that fall short of touching the enormity of human pain. With God, hope can be born in the soils of despair.

Wednesday night, at church, tired after a 6 am to 6:30 pm work day I went to church. I was exhausted, constantly directing a group of men who are used to being criminals on the street requires a lot of fortitude. Challenging financial problems, health issues with grandchildren all had taken their toll. I was ready to sleep, renew my strength for another day. I sat through the teaching, couldn’t quite bring myself to sing the songs. After church, waiting for a grandchild, I quietly played the piano going through an old chorus book with lots of beloved melodies.

        I looked up and my pastor came into the sanctuary, he quickly laid an envelope and left. I assumed it was a card for my relative who had been injured. I opened it and found a check made out to me. My pastor at the door of the sanctuary called back, “I’m just the messenger.”

        Somebody had anonymously given me money. I put my head down on the piano keys for a few moments. I cried.  I honestly didn’t know what to feel. Somebody, someone I knew, wanted to help me and my grandson. It was humbling and embarrassing. So much of me wants to be able to fix things myself. Waiting for God to help us it just didn’t occur to me that people might help. How do you accept gifts graciously? I don’t know, it’s something apparently I haven’t learned. Well, whoever you are, thank you. I will pay off some pressing utility bills and realize I have a bit of a reprieve to continue to try to figure out this financial mess. Someone wanted to try to comfort us in a tangible way. God used people, to comfort me with helping with the bills.

        I guess that brings up the fact that comfort, can come in all kinds of ways. A smile, a kind word, a casserole, a phone call, a letter, money, helping with repairs, errands, children…… sometimes, just feeling the sun on my face is a comfort and promise that eventually things will work out.

        God has designed us to experience His comfort and to become comforters. The very trials that create so much pain, are designed to allow us to experience his love and in turn show others that same love. My prayer is that I will continually grow in my ability to be of comfort. To allow God to keep working on my rough edges, (more than a few) and let His love and kindness shine through.

        Today, if you are going through a dark time dare to hope. Turn your heart and life over to Jesus and allow Him to fill you with peace, and the comfort of the Holy Spirit, allow Him to help you find your own joy in the morning. Be blessed.