Saturday August 15, 2015

8:18 am

I am awake, but the birds outside my window this morning are predominately crows, caw, caw, cawing raucously to establish their territory. Over the din, I hear the anxious calls of a few other birds warning of the aggressors. In nature, as in our human societies, the battles for dominance are never ending.

I am pensive today, the awareness of needing to get away strong in my conscious thoughts. My emotional bank is near empty and my spiritual self has been taxed to the max. There is so much to accomplish everywhere I look or turn, but I know, it’s time to retreat; to drink in the stillness of nature, to allow God to restore my soul. If I don’t take this sabbatical from work, from family, from responsibilities, the strain, the stress, the disappointments, the pressures, will wear too heavily on my being and I will break; slowly at first but then with a cascading down of the structures I’ve built up over time to support the person I am, at home, at work, at life.

And so, leaving chores undone, errands unaccomplished, I will retreat into nature, drinking in the beauty, the grandeur, the majesty of creation. I will revel in the stillness, the lack of traffic, of sirens, of people with problems, agendas, and ever-present needs filling my awareness. My plans are for it to be; me, God, the dogs and a pair of comfortable shoes.

I have two days and I can go anywhere I wish in a 500 mile radius. Shortly, I will begin packing up my truck, look for my smaller tent, a camp stove, a cooler, throw in the coffee pot, my Bible a sleeping bag or two and head out. The wet, rain-laden clouds gray the sun and I mentally add tarp to the list.

In Native American culture taking a Vision Quest was an important part of a warrior’s life. Looking for a revealing of a spiritual purpose, a greater definition of connection to the Creator was essential. I cannot begin to understand the full significance of what these Vision Quest’s were, and are meant to be, but in my own small way I can take time to allow God to restore my soul, and find respite from the hectic pace of my life.

The part of me that is ever so weary, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually shrinks from the packing up of the truck, the ‘getting it together’ part of getting away. It takes an effort to make time for “self-care” and sometimes, when you’re near worn out, even that’s difficult to do.

But, I know I must get away. The realization that I have the luxury millions don’t to “get away” weighs heavy on my heart. I am fortunate, ever so fortunate to be healthy, have resources and freedoms. I can never take those privileges for granted. But, I can’t guilt myself for being fortunate, I must acknowledge that where I am now in my life I can’t be of any help to anyone if I am not there in the moment to care, to listen, to help, to encourage, to comfort and sometimes to guide.

So, I have a goal, an escape plan if you will.

“When I am overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter to me, A strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever. I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.” Psalm 61: 2-4

I never know who you are reading this. People in many countries read this blog and I realize that my life sounds so “rich” so lucky, so blessed, so free. If you are reading this now, and are experiencing the longing to “get away” yet can’t, I’m sorry. May God grant you His peace, His comfort, His strength in the middle of your storm. May He cause the sun to warm your face, the wind touch you with its gentle caress letting you know He is there, and He loves you. May the Word of God speak to your heart and life with truth, comfort and significance.  May you experience the awareness of His presence to a greater degree knowing that pain and suffering you are going through now are only for a moment and someday, in eternity, every tear will be dried, every disappointment disappear in the glory of the presence of the living God. Remember to “look up!” “Your redemption draweth nigh!”

Until next time, may the God of all comfort be your source of strength for this day and all the days of your life.

Robin