Sunday August 2, 2015.
I know this wealth of space I’m enjoying is temporary, but
right now, I am luxuriating in the delight of room upon room of quiet to bathe
my own soul in a peaceful respite from my hectic weekday work world.
Early morning, I sought God, in prayers, in quiet, in
reading. Several things I read in devotionals this morning spoke of the ministry of life
trials to strengthen the soul and build faith. Of particular note is the
teaching that God didn’t send Jesus to strengthen us by taking us out of trying
situations but to strengthen us in them. Hmm….. I must admit, coming to this
realization has been difficult for me. My own prayer life has often consisted
of petitions to, “Make it stop God, please.” It encourages my heart that in the
Psalms, mostly penned by David, it is echoed many, many times as David pleads
for God to divinely intervene and stop the bad guys.
At this age, at this juncture of my life I am gradually
coming to a deeper awareness that God allows some suffering to refine our
character. I’ve also discovered it’s less painful if I release, (sometimes again
and again) the situations to God. To trust and believe that Gods’, “got this.”
It, the releasing and trusting, isn’t an automatic, one time process. For me,
it involves praying and reading my Bible again, and again about individuals,
situations, problems and taking them (the problems) to the ‘throne of Grace’.
As I read stories from Christians of all ages I see for many, if not most, this
is a pattern of finding peace in the midst of storm, comfort in the time of
crisis, strength in the time of weakness, help in the time of need.
Friends, mothers, grandmothers aside, much of the battles
of Christian living are done in solitary fashion. A well known verse in
Proverbs 14:10- shares this principle, “The heart knows its own bitterness and a
stranger cannot share its joys.”
So at this moment, there are situations in progress that I
cannot battle. The eventual resolutions of these conflicts are in God’s hands.
Yes, I still battle worry but I seek respite in the Word of God. I build my faith by
listening to inspired messages of God’s faithfulness.
From this window, I can watch the morning sun lighten
the skies. This verse is a wonderful reminder of this promise and injunction to
praise God for his goodness.
Daily, I try to thank God for the blessings I do have. This
gratefulness helps keep at bay worry, bad moods, depression. I have so much to
be thankful for I try to remember this throughout the days when opposition
comes, and it does. Most of my breaks at work I take in the garden created by
the Cowlitz Tribe where I work. It is a beautiful garden, with trees, shrubs, bushes a curving pathway. They’ve placed huge boulders in a circle, with a small
fire pit at the center of the garden. I go out there, and I pray, for wisdom, for
patience, for protection, for healing,
for patients, for staff. Sometimes, I can feel or sense the very atmosphere of
wickedness that surrounds me. This might sound odd to some of you reading this
but it is true. For those of you who believe, or might be willing to consider
the existence of good and evil, supernatural powers of good and evil, do you
think that perhaps in an environment where people are struggling to break the
bonds of drug and alcohol addiction they might have some battles going on in
them and around them for their very souls?
I believe there are battles going on and though I can’t see
these powers in conflict, I can feel the battles, and sense the turmoil.
Sometimes, I am a target of some kind of awful things. I’ve gone through some
really trying, difficult circumstances that some people would find incredible
and somewhat unbelievable. Like Peter, there have been times “I’ve walked on
the water” so to speak. And, there have been other times where the conflicts
were so great, the battles so fierce, that I sunk beneath the waves of fear and
only had to cry, “Jesus, help me, it’s too much.”
At this present moment, I am feeling ‘ok’. I know changes
are coming, some of them with impact for me personally, but at this moment, I
honestly feel ‘ok’. God is good and has been faithful to me. He has restored me
after catastrophic things threatened to leave me, beat down and forsaken. He
has provided for me in the midst of difficult economic times. He has blessed me
abundantly. I have been so fortunate.
“These things I have spoken unto you that in me you may have peace.In the world you will have tribulation, (trouble) but be of good cheer for
I have overcome the world!” John 16:33
Facing a crisis in
your own life right now, or in the future? God can give you a hope steadfast
and sure. Seek His face, ask for His help and find other believers to help you
through your own valley of weeping, “joy will come in the morning.”
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