He is faithful....

Sunday August 2, 2015.

         

     It is mid-morning here, long days of record heat creating mugginess in the air that occasional river breezes lighten as I sit in my dining room. I am next to windows looking out at dry heat-baked hills in the distance and to the left of me, dark, fern-covered forests, holding on to moisture with their deep-rootedness. A bird or two calls through the woods and my old cat sits on the open window frame taking its Sunday bath.

          I know this wealth of space I’m enjoying is temporary, but right now, I am luxuriating in the delight of room upon room of quiet to bathe my own soul in a peaceful respite from my hectic weekday work world.

          Early morning, I sought God, in prayers, in quiet, in reading. Several things I read in devotionals  this morning spoke of the ministry of life trials to strengthen the soul and build faith. Of particular note is the teaching that God didn’t send Jesus to strengthen us by taking us out of trying situations but to strengthen us in them. Hmm….. I must admit, coming to this realization has been difficult for me. My own prayer life has often consisted of petitions to, “Make it stop God, please.” It encourages my heart that in the Psalms, mostly penned by David, it is echoed many, many times as David pleads for God to divinely intervene and stop the bad guys.

          At this age, at this juncture of my life I am gradually coming to a deeper awareness that God allows some suffering to refine our character. I’ve also discovered it’s less painful if I release, (sometimes again and again) the situations to God. To trust and believe that Gods’, “got this.” It, the releasing and trusting, isn’t an automatic, one time process. For me, it involves praying and reading my Bible again, and again about individuals, situations, problems and taking them (the problems) to the ‘throne of Grace’. As I read stories from Christians of all ages I see for many, if not most, this is a pattern of finding peace in the midst of storm, comfort in the time of crisis, strength in the time of weakness, help in the time of need.

        

  Sometimes, God gives glimpses of His divine, behind the scenes workings. And sometimes He doesn’t. Sometimes the waiting and watching we do requires thinking about how He has worked in our lives in the past. His faithfulness, His provisions. A remembering of the goodness of His mercy and grace. And sometimes, it involves, hanging on for all we’re worth, claiming promises, seeking light when all appears dark, and trusting when all seems bleak.

          People can help, for sure. Godly people, believing people, praying people. For most of my life, I was blessed to have a praying, believing mother. If tough situations came, (and they did) I could call her and ask her to pray and know she would. As she aged, she shared that more and more of her time was increasingly devoted to being a ‘prayer warrior’. She prayed for family, friends, our country, our Presidents, situations near and far. She didn’t pretend to understand ‘how’ prayer works, but she believed in the power of prayers.

         

     My mother read many, many books written by other warriors of faith throughout the centuries. She loved her Bible, and select Christian television programming. She loved watching sports and had her favorite teams. She wasn’t a one-dimensional person, living a monastic existence. She was a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother who loved God and felt strongly that her ministry was praying.

              

     

     Sigh, I miss her immensely as I know do her other family members. But I treasure that heritage. Now, aging myself, I have some friends who I know I can call, text, emaile or Face Book to pray for me, and I believe they will. I don’t have many friends, but I have a few who I know love God, care about me and are willing to pray for me. I value their friendship, their kindness and their faith. Hopefully, they feel that they can ask me to pray, and trust that I will say yes and then pray.

          Friends, mothers, grandmothers aside, much of the battles of Christian living are done in solitary fashion. A well known verse in Proverbs 14:10- shares this principle, “The heart knows its own bitterness and a stranger cannot share its joys.”

          So at this moment, there are situations in progress that I cannot battle. The eventual resolutions of these conflicts are in God’s hands. Yes, I still battle worry but I seek respite in the Word of God. I build my faith by listening to inspired messages of God’s faithfulness. 

       

     And, I wait. I’ve mentioned in other blog posts that when I was younger I attempted to embroider the science of Elijah holding out his hand as the Raven brought him food as he sat by a brook, fleeing an evil ruler. I loved that story as a child and I love it now. I love the passage of Scripture in Isaiah where it reads, “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 I have picture with this verse, with an Eagle flying high in the sky. I’m going to go move it to my writing corner so I can see it. Ok, done.

         

     In front of the table where I’m typing on the wall next to the window overlooking the Eastern hills is a small plaque with this verse, “From the rising of the sun to the going down of the same, the Lord’s name is to be praised.” Psalm 113:3.

       From this window, I can watch the morning sun lighten the skies. This verse is a wonderful reminder of this promise and injunction to praise God for his goodness.

         Daily, I try to thank God for the blessings I do have. This gratefulness helps keep at bay worry, bad moods, depression. I have so much to be thankful for I try to remember this throughout the days when opposition comes, and it does. Most of my breaks at work I take in the garden created by the Cowlitz Tribe where I work. It is a beautiful garden, with  trees, shrubs, bushes a curving pathway. They’ve placed huge boulders in a circle, with a small fire pit at the center of the garden. I go out there, and I pray, for wisdom, for patience,  for protection, for healing, for patients, for staff. Sometimes, I can feel or sense the very atmosphere of wickedness that surrounds me. This might sound odd to some of you reading this but it is true. For those of you who believe, or might be willing to consider the existence of good and evil, supernatural powers of good and evil, do you think that perhaps in an environment where people are struggling to break the bonds of drug and alcohol addiction they might have some battles going on in them and around them for their very souls?

          I believe there are battles going on and though I can’t see these powers in conflict, I can feel the battles, and sense the turmoil. Sometimes, I am a target of some kind of awful things. I’ve gone through some really trying, difficult circumstances that some people would find incredible and somewhat unbelievable. Like Peter, there have been times “I’ve walked on the water” so to speak. And, there have been other times where the conflicts were so great, the battles so fierce, that I sunk beneath the waves of fear and only had to cry, “Jesus, help me, it’s too much.”

          At this present moment, I am feeling ‘ok’. I know changes are coming, some of them with impact for me personally, but at this moment, I honestly feel ‘ok’. God is good and has been faithful to me. He has restored me after catastrophic things threatened to leave me, beat down and forsaken. He has provided for me in the midst of difficult economic times. He has blessed me abundantly. I have been so fortunate.

        

  So what will tomorrow bring?  Well, I’m not sure, but I know who holds tomorrow and I know whatever, or whoever comes against me, God will still be there, holding my right hand and remaining faithful to sustain His promises.

“These things I have spoken unto you that in me you may have peace.In the world you will have tribulation, (trouble) but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world!” John 16:33

          Facing a crisis in your own life right now, or in the future? God can give you a hope steadfast and sure. Seek His face, ask for His help and find other believers to help you through your own valley of weeping, “joy will come in the morning.”