On wings of Eagles

They that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

          A week ago today, the skies were wet, windy and gray. My week had been a tough one. Listening to teenagers talk about their lives -running away from home. Hearing about them using Heroin, Meth and pretty much everything else and seeing their incredibly young faces tears at the linings of my soul. Knowing the tiredness of my spirit, after church we packed a few snacks and took off for the ocean.   

   

          Sixteen miles out of town a patch of blue appeared in the west, maybe just maybe we might see sun at the coast. The closer we drove to the ocean the brighter and sunnier it became. A grandson, enjoying driving the truck, requested that we skip our usual haunts and go South to a beach access.  Taking the turn to the access road the last dune hill revealed a crystal azure ocean set against a brilliant turquoise sky. “How wonderful!” I thought, “We get to have some sun.”

          We drove on the hard packed wet sand for about a mile and up to the right a large bird sat perched on a piling driven into the grass emblazoned dune. As we got closer, how thrilling to see that it was an Eagle, proud, majestic, symbol of strength and power. “Look!” I cried excitedly to my grandson, “An eagle!” He nodded and we continued to drive the brilliant stretch of sand. Here and there, we’d stop and get driftwood, pulling, pushing and tugging it to the truck. For some reason, I had decided I wanted to build a driftwood fence and today seemed an ideal day to begin the project.

          We piled back in the truck and continued to drive. Down the beach we could see a black dot on the right. As we neared, we were astonished to see another bald eagle, this one sitting atop the carcass of a dead seal. The eagle eyed us watchfully as we passed.

          “Cool” both my grandson and I thought, “Two eagles! What a day!”

          Peacefully continuing to meander down the sunny beach we continue to stop here and there on our driftwood hunt.  Any unusual objects were explored for possible treasure. Who knows if we could be the lucky ones?

          We tried to see the wreck of Peter Iredale down the coast but were still too far away, we continued our trek.  Ahead, large birds circled the dunes. “Look!” I cried, “Those must be crows! They are so huge!”  My grandson answered, “No, I think that must be vultures, they really are huge.”

         We drove closer and imagine our astonishment to find that the birds were Eagles. Diving, swooping, circling. He stopped the truck and I got out, stretching my arms wide to the sky as the birds swooped above. What enormous wind spans they had!  The experience was incredible for me. I had never seen more than two bald eagles at once in my entire 63 years, and here, this day there were so many eagles. We counted, one on the piling, another on the seal, and now, three, four, five, six, yes seven eagles!

          For me, it seemed like an a sign. I have been praying for strength, for renewal and here waiting at the coast to greet me were all these eagles, free, strong, soaring with apparent delight in the currents of the Pacific ocean breeze, feathers glinting in the sun.  It was a once in a lifetime experience. One of those moments you put away and take out and ponder, reliving the beauty and wonder of the moment, savoring its beauty and meaning.

          Yesterday, waiting for family, I ducked into Goodwill. I love digging through the treasures. It is like going to a museum to me, you never know what you are going to find. Digging through the pictures I found a large matted and framed print of an Eagle soaring high above the sea. Beneath the picture were the treasured words,

          They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary.  They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31.

          I bought the picture and lugged it to the car. I will hang it in my home someplace I can see it daily, to remind me that I don’t have to worry, God’s got this. My own strength, my own wisdom is so small. God’s isn’t. I have prayed, I have asked, His promises are true. He will renew my strength.

          Praise God……………….  Someday, there will be joy in My morning!

To all of you out there, take care and take prayer=

 as your doorway to our faithful creator………….. 

When you need to recharge your batteries

April 5, 2014

“Even though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me.”

Psalm 128: 7

        

  This morning, awake before five am, I drink my early morning coffee and think about the day ahead. From the dining room, I catch the sound of my phone, calling out its wake up song. It can’t quite get through the song, but trails off. I dump the contents of my purse out on the dining room table and finally find my phone, warrior of some five years of dutifully waking me up day after day. There is sits, worn, weary and with a low battery alert screen telling me its story of the unfinished song.

          “Oh boy, can I relate to that!” This week back at work it seemed as if the chaos would never end. Staff after staff member shared their stories of being at their ‘wits end.’  Of feeling like they just couldn't take things the way they were for much longer. They needed a respite of some kind, now!   O.K., let’s me real. I don’t think of myself as a miracle worker, far from it. I listen, I try to encourage, I try to steer people in a good direction to go; but, when all is said and done, people will do what they want, wise or unwise.

          People are hurting in my workplace. Life with all its ugliness of sickness, family conflicts, lack of sleep, job pressures, etc is taking its toll of people’s ability to cope. Tempers are flaring; decisions are being made that will create wounds needing to be healed for a long time to come.

          And me?  Where am I in the midst of this? Trying to survive; to be a voice of comfort; to be a voice of peace; to be a light to others to point them to God who is the author of all comfort. Do I do this perfectly? No! Make that a resounding no, but I am trying.

          Part of the problem is, in the middle of the chaos, you have the Clients who need help, support, direction, and guidance. The clients are our primary legal, ethical and moral responsibility. We are there to help them. So who helps the helpers?

          Well, that’s a good question. For me, aware that, just like my little phone, my battery is low, really, really, low; I am making plans to take a mental break. To get away from Dodge as it were and pursue a day spent enjoying nature. Do I have things here at home that need to be done?  Oh yes, lots and lots. Is it important that I take care of myself, yes oh yes.

          Reading through my Bible this year from start to finish, this morning part of my readings were in Psalm 138.  Verse 7, stood out to me this early morning, “Although I am walking in the midst of trouble, You (God) will revive me.”  Truly, at this time of my life, I am walking in the midst of trouble. Believing God, that in the middle of that trouble, He will revive me, gives me hope and encouragement.  Reading the  Gospels, I see that Jesus, went to the hills, went to a garden, went to the dessert, went to the sea. There He prayed, drank in the beauty and peace of nature and refreshed His soul.

        

  Chilly Spring weather and all, God willing the creek don’t rise, I will bundle up later this morning, pack some fruit, veggies and a sandwich and take off. Today, I think I’ll head to the coast; explore the trails, watch the birds, pick up shells and driftwood and just unwind.

The laundry, the dishes and bills will wait, renewing my spirit, my inner battery if you will, that can’t wait.

          And so I’ll hurry up and zip over to my Weight Watchers meeting and see how my week went. I had hoped to ‘stay on program’ 100 %, every day, all the time. Instead, 92% of the time more accurately reflects my level of performance. Hilarious, I’m grading myself; Those of you out there who’ve tried to change pesky habits can relate.

          To each of you, whom perhaps I will never meet, find your own moments of renewal. Seek God, seek peace and refresh for the days ahead. Be blessed, joy will come in the morning. Perhaps on eternities shore.

Ninety days to a more........

Ninety days to a more….. Day 1

Me at Enchanted Forest. 

When I was young, I loved magazines. My mom would buy me new issues of Seventeen and I would pour over the pages; admiring this look or that outfit. She also bought Women’s Day and I would eagerly read every article of 30 days to a more beautiful you; or ooh and ahh over the make-. over pages.

          Frumpy, plain women would emerge as beautiful, sleek, stylish women. Cool hair, cool clothes, cool make-up. Wow! I was impressed. In my teenage, young adult years I would try to do my versions of a “make-over.”  In hindsight I realize I was blessed with good genes and looks and a “fit-over” would have helped immensely.

          So now at 63, what in the world do I call a “me-over?”  Don’t know only know that in the next 90 days I’m going to try to be more health conscious in every way I can. I am somewhat hampered by long work hours, but I’m going to try anyway.

          Bible in hand, I am going to gird up this project with prayers and promises that God can renew my strength with His strength. That he can restore my youth. That I can mount up on wings as Eagles, “run and not be weary, walk and not faint.” Isaiah

          So here I am, looking out on my flowering cherry trees, fog shrouding the hills with a blanket of white. New work week ahead of me. A million details threaten to surround me with their own insistent fog of, “get it done!” but I will continue to seek peace and pursue it.

          Who else wants to join me on my journey for the next 90 days?

          I think I will do some before and after photos; I used to love looking at those.

          I’m sure God has His own before and after photos of us. How glad I am that He sees me through Jesus.

          I’m cold, it’s freezing, will warm weather never come?

          Be blessed and see you tomorrow.

          Joy will come in the morning.

                   Robin

          

Road of Life

     

The rains keep a steady patter on my family room skylights. I’m proud of myself, today I got up and decided to go back to Weight Watchers. I fiddled around ‘til I realized I was going to be late and rushed out the door, sans make-up wearing a cammo hunting jacket, (nice touch) and made my way through the downpour to the meeting some 15 miles away.

     I checked in and found myself feeling so proud of myself. I was taking a positive step to regain my commitment to being fit. Quick meeting, meet and greet and I am back home, waiting to greet two young grandsons visiting grandma while mom and dad have a day to themselves.

     After a scare with my health, lots of tests it turns out I’m A-ok, just need to exercise more and get my weight down. So many people would be thrilled to have my blood pressure, test results etc. I am so fortunate. Thank you God!

     So I look forward to a long day at home, running loads of laundry while trying to keep two very active young children content while having to stay inside because of the cold, damp rains. Well, I hear the front door open, my dogs are barking a welcome and two small voices announce their presence. Looks like I’d better get busy.

*** Later… next to me on the floor are two small grandsons. Dumped out on the floor are two large bins of toys. Cars  the movie is playing and I rest here on the couch, enjoying a few random sun-breaks as every now and then the clouds part and blue and sun shine through. Tomorrow I will see Mr. Peabody on a large cinetopia screen and get the joy of watching small upturned faces enjoy the film.

     Some of me dreams of Disney world. I wonder how many of us there are in the world; dreaming of going  back and enjoying the beauty and fun. I try not to think of the thousands, maybe millions of people dreaming of having just enough food to eat; or of being warm, or of having their own bathroom, and hot water. I am spoiled its true by the richness of this country and my privileged life. Spend most of a whole day recently discussion the whole issue of “privilege” and how it impacts people in our culture. I listened and then shared an observation and then had the awkward moment at the speaker skewed the discussion in the direction of my comments.

     People wrote down their thoughts, posted them on the walls and then these were observed and discussed. Interesting to see the concerns, gripes, denials spilled across a 50 foot wall. By the end of the six hours I tired of the discussions.

     A lot of life is like that for me. I take things out, (thoughts, concerns, projects, jobs, relationships, volunteer opportunities, and I get tired of them, bored if your will. I’m not alone in this, many people I know suffer from the same thing; they’ll buy stuff for a hobby, a sport, sign up a new class, take a training, change boyfriend, husband, whatever and find out they are back where they started, bored.  It’s mainly a malady of the rich, or quasi rich. Whoever heard of a starving person getting bored? Back in Bible times, you’ll find King David fighting the same things. He had enough food, enough military conquests, enough money, power, wives, concubines, and found himself bored, looking for the next interesting thing or person.

And so enters Bathsheba……..

     In my own life, I’ve bought things, done things over and over again seeking the elusive, “something else” that would bring me happiness only to find out it was a mirage, an illusion I would have to pay for over time at a much greater cost.

     So now, at this stage of my life, the “golden years” as it were, I struggle with urges to seek adventure.  (People who know me would laugh at this. Outwardly I look like a nice quiet grandma type.) Conservative if you will. Who would guess that part of me thinks of thinks of selling everything off, packing my bags and moving to Florida to work at Disney and find contentment in a small, manageable apartment or condominium? Or, selling my stuff and becoming a missionary to some third world country? I know some people who are about ten years older then I am and they did just that; sold everything and moved to a different part of the state, much to the dismay of their families.

     Instead, I try to stay anchored and focus on the fact that for whatever reason, I’m planted here in a little rural town, and working at a nearby city at a job where people continually fall down, hurt themselves and have to be helped back up. (Drug and alcohol counseling).

    Presently, I watch the small dear face of one grandson as he plays with his cars and trucks making the small, sweet engine sounds little boys do. Could full time access to “Mickey” replace that? No, I think not. Infinitely precious and incredibly priceless, moving away I would miss seeing them and hearing their sweet voices.

     So today, I thank God for today, the blessings (many) I do have and ask for a spirit that increasingly demonstrates His love to others. There’s a song we sing now and again at church, More of You. In this song, there is a phrase, “I've had it all, but all I want is more of You.”  In many ways, I've had it all in my life. At present, my the whole world’s standards, I’m rich. I’m healthy, I have incredible blessings. I will pray to set aside those things which try to enchant me, be they Disney World, or hobbies or just plain stuff. I will pray that God will continue to infuse me with his presence to complete my course doing those tasks left for me to do.

     Feeling kind of Country Western, perhaps it’s the rain/sun combo. Read the following with a twang, if you will.

Road of Life

No detours on this road I’m traveling

My sights set on a place called home

It’s not an address you can find

Four walls, a roof, a door, a phone.

The place that I am headed

You can’t get there by a car

You got to travel with your heart

To follow God’s own star

Yes God He holds the road map

That sends me on my way

He plans my chance encounters

And teaches me to say

There are no roads less traveled

When once your heaven-bound

Our God will make a new you,

And now once lost, you’re found.

And God will make a new you,

And now once lost, you’re found.

     Ok, so this is funny, I’m laying here on the couch, singing the song above with plenty of twang and one small grandson interrupts me, “Gramma, Gramma, here’s something.” “What?” I answer. With a great deal of solemnity he answers, “  “Don’t sing that.”   Hilarious, age 3 and already a critic, albeit a sweet, adorable one.

Another grandson (older) just brought me milk and a half a tuna sandwich. I am being thoroughly spoiled today. Love to you all, and remember, God hears and answers prayers.

It's All About Me

                     It’s all about me……….

        Up before five am this morning. Awake, aware, trying to decide whether or not to go to my job. I pray, I think, I make my coffee, read my devotional books, my Bible and think some more. I still have pain; insistent, nagging, bothersome. And I still feel so……so tired. And, my EKG results are not back yet. Am I ready to enter the sphere of my work filled with ongoing crisis, ongoing stress, and ongoing demands on my time, strength, patience and endurance? No the answer comes, not yet.

                     I create a text to let my office know and try to let go of the weight of the work I know is piling up in my absence. I settle back, realize I’m also feeling a little flu-like. OH well, in the mean while I will focus on renewing my spirit and strength.

                     I wrap up in my quilt, turn on Christian television and ready for my day at home.  I wish I could go somewhere to renew, a cabin in the woods, a condo on the beach, somewhere the demands of life can’t reach. Right now I can’t and I settle for being warm, having food, a lit candle warming my heart with its glowing. For many of us, our “Sabbath” rest has to occur where we are at. We don’t all the luxuries of time and money to get away for a retreat.

                     If I miss my morning devotions, I feel discombobulated all day. Focusing on the powerful messages of others who have walked before me encourages my heart. It is as if they are speaking into my life, peace, strength, encouragement and hope. I try to hold those thoughts throughout my day; sometimes I am not as successful as others. Perhaps someone, or someone’s are unpleasant to me at work. It’s annoying and tiresome. I pray, I try to be kind but on occasion the annoyance bubbles up My sense of “injustice” rises up and somehow over-rides my “God” thoughts and I enter the realm of, “Really, do they think they can act that way and get away with it?”

                     These thoughts and resentments don’t resonate with God’s ways, His Spirit, His teachings. From what I can understand Jesus tells us, Blessed are you when men revile you, (be disrespectful). Blessed are you when they say all manner of evil against you. (for my sake.)

                     The blessed comes with a condition, and that condition is if it’s for the sake of the Gospel. Often, it has nothing what-so-ever to do with anything related to Jesus. It’s just the way the world works. How I handle it, what my response is, well that’s on me. Jesus commands us to be in the world, but not of the world. Admittedly my life is a mixture of current culture; worldly mindsets; ideas of personhood and “rights”. I am not a prime candidate to be witness for the redemptive power of a risen Lord. I am more a poster child for an aging hippy, educated in secular universities and working in secular, thoroughly culturally immersed work worlds.

                     So, do I set back, give up and just be the real me? The real me was a huge 60’s concept and it’s part and parcel of today’s zeitgeist also. We have a world bent on deifying self, elevating Me, I, Self to a position of being the end all and be all.

                     Is that what I should succumb to now? Certainly the “feel good” be true to yourself philosophy has a seductive lure. Why shouldn’t I speak up for myself? Why should I take someone being rude for absolutely no reason? Why should I continue to be kind to someone who is being really, really unpleasant?

                     The whys continue and proliferate, much like the Tribbles of Star Trek past.  Why should I try to be different and practice love, forgiveness, and faith continually to believe that God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory. (including the need to be respected).    Well, for me it’s pretty simple. I was horribly lost, emotionally, physically, spiritually every way you can think of. My childfaith in Jesus had been set aside for the current world view. My lifestyle reflected the “me-ology” of the times. I made decisions based on serving self, and selfishness. I was all about me.

                     What I found was that I lost all my peace, all my joy, all my happiness and was filled with regret, despair, shame, remorse, fear, everything dark and evil. There came a point where I knew I needed God to help me or I wasn’t going to make it out of the pit my decisions had put me in. I cried out, “Help me God!”  And He did. And then, (yes for me there’s been many and thens) I started getting back into the I’isms. Me this, me that, I think, I feel, I want; and I was drawn away from my faith and went back into the pit.

                     Oh, it never looked like a pit; it always looked like something fun, or exciting, or something that would elevate me in some way; my rights, my will, my, my, my.

                     I am very thankful for the richness of the mercy of God. He never had given me what I deserved for my rebelliousness. He has given me more grace, forgiveness and restoration than I ever merited. A stubborn rebellious woman has been forgiven, restored, forgiven, restored again and again.

                     I love feeling safe. I love feeling pure. I love feeling content. I love feeling hope. Jesus gives me those things as long as I keep focused on Him and His purposes. Like Peter jumping out of the boat to walk to Jesus, as long as I keep my  mind and heart set on the purposes of God for my life I experience peace.

                     However, the fact of the matter is there are somethings that contribute to losing that focus, at least for me these things include: over-work; envy; resentments; lack of exercise; lack of discipline in any area of my life; eating, spending, emotions. So, I have this time right now, set aside from my work by a bout of ill health. Will I use this time to regroup spiritually and realize I’m getting sucked back into the downward spiral of thoughts that lead away from God?

                     Yes, I think I will use this time. With God’s help I will make a plan for how to counteract the negative influences in my life and stay focused on my ultimate objective; reflecting the love of Christ to others who are suffering right now. Ignoring their behaviors and seeing beyond to the aches they cannot express; the pains they cannot voice; the cries for help they cannot speak.

                     Renewal. No fanfare, no balloons, no banners, just a quiet act of spirit and prayer. God, help me to remain grateful for your blessings in my life. Help me to be humble and not look to this culture, these people for my self-esteem. Help me to let go of those things that bother me and re-focus on eternal values. And God, please cleanse me and fill me with your divine love for those people in my life that could use their own measure of unmerited favor and grace.

                     God, you’ve given me time, help me to give you my life, such as it is.

                     I love the expression, “Little is much when God is in it.”

Let that be true in my life today, and for the rest of the todays I‘ve been given.