Day 49 - God's Plan B or to BE?

 

        It's evening here. The cloudy days of earlier in the week have given way to sunshine and clear blue skies. Today at lunch, I set out on a walk to mail a letter at the local post office. Others set off in cars to drive-ins, or some stayed to eat in the staff lunch room. I don't mind walking by myself, I get to feel the wind in my face, enjoy the warm sun, and the visual delight of manicured yards, flowers still bright in late summer bloom.

          The houses were like friendly faces, many well-kept, pristine paint, edged walk-ways. Some were neglected, peeling paint, scraggly yards, little evidence of pride of ownership. The houses also reminded me of the clients at our treatment center. Some are bright, full of hope, eager to learn. Others, beaten by life, afraid to try. And still others, angry, bitter and ready to lash out at life and anyone who tries to get through. Often, when challenged by troubled clients I really don't know what to do. I know the textbook answers, do this, say this, but when it comes to reaching into the inner soul of men wounded by life I believe the only answer is really God.

         My hands are bound in many ways about sharing. I cannot tell my clients that Jesus Christ is the only way to God. I am bound ethically and by company policy. But, and this is important, my prayers are not bound. I can pray, I can ask others to pray. Where my wisdom falls short, where my insight fails, God's Spirit can speak to the hearts and minds of men who have reached the end of their resources, who are ready to acknowledge their need for help, who are ready to seek a relationship with a God who they have spent a long time running away from.

      And so my journey goes, spending my days trying to help dozens of men who for a brief while, stay out of jail and prisons and work on recovery. So, five days a week, the treatment center is my mission field. I like what my pastor says, "God doesn't use people based on their ability, but on their availability." So here I am, a grandmother, many times over, working with men who have made careers out of robbing, selling drugs and violence. And yet, wonder of wonder, I'm not afraid. God has given me the wonderful gift of seeing them as someones son, somebodies brother, somebodies daddy.

      The men sensing my care, are for the most part very respectful towards me. They will talk about how tough they are, the crimes they've committed but when they talk to me they are gentle and kind. I have the opportunity to see them as their families have probably not seen them in many years. I like to believe that God has given me His eyes to see the potential in them, the men they can be. I don't think I'm a saint or anything like that. I am a Christian who prayed and asked God to show me His plan for my life. I asked other Christians to pray and they did, repeatedly. I discovered this profession, studied very hard and have found employment for these last five years doing what I was trained to do, all this after age 57.

         God is the author of second, third..... and many more chances. He has plan A, plan B through Z. No matter where you've been, or what you've done, God can heal the hurts, bind the wounds, and give you a future you never thought you'd never have. Dare to believe, dare to seek, when you do you'll discover like me that He's been there all the time waiting to show you a future you could have never imagined doing things you thought you never could do.

God hears and answers prayers, He'll hear yours, dare to believe.

Day 48 - Life's Disappointments might be God's appointments

     Hello to all. Sunday afternoon here, sky is full of gray, rain looking clouds. Trying to enjoy what's left of the weekend. This morning in my devotions, the theme was based on making sure our projects are in line with what God wants for our lives. If you've followed my blogs, you know I've started many things that I thought were God's will for me and then struggled with the success or non-success of the venture.

     Increasingly, I am becoming aware that there are some "givens" in life that are almost always the right thing to so. Love your family, take care of yourself, try to be kind to others.  Universally, those values seem to be common to what people over time have esteemed.  Today, in this generation we have the luxury of having "free" time; time where we don't have to work at a job, or in a field just to eat and exist. Most of us have a 40 plus work week and then whatever time is left, we can choose how we want to fill it.

     Discernment and wisdom to make the best choices about how to use that "free" time are rare commodities that must be pursued.  Understanding what to do, when to do it, and where to do it (whatever it is) can prove to be a whole lot more difficult then one might think.  Add in the concept of wanting to do "God's will" and things can be really puzzling.

     When I was little, one of my favorite toys at the City Park was the teeter-totter.  One person would sit on one end, another at the other end. Up and down you'd go.  You had to work together and develop a cooperative up-down motion.  Some children were too impatient to be good teeter-totterers. They would push too hard sending the other person down rather unpleasantly. Or they would tire of being on the teeter-totter and leap off without warning leaving the other person to go smack, hitting the ground with a thud!

     Developing an awareness to become flexible to change requires an over-riding belief that what may appear as a frustration, or disappointment, God can use for our good if our heart is right. When people let you down accepting that disappointment as something that God allowed to come your way takes a lot of the sting out of it.  Developing a servants heart is something I don't find east to do. That's because I have feelings and what I've learned is that when you work with people, often they want what they want, and other people's feelings, including mine, aren't a factor to be considered.

     God understood that we are feeling creatures.  His plan was that as He fills us with His Holy Spirit, increasingly we will learn how to be a person who loves, experiences suffering, and is still kind. It's important to note, that without His Spirit this kind of behavior is not something anyone does naturally.  As followers of Jesus, we become, (as we submit) super- natural because we develop a new nature, one that is a gift from God.

      Initially when challenges come to make me feel hurt, angry or over-looked my "natural" response is to withdraw and nurse my wounds.  As I pray, agree to accept the circumstances and wait to see how God will turn my spirit of heaviness into a garment of praise, change occurs that can only be attributed to the power of God at work.  This increases my faith, and strengthens my spirit with an understanding that the more I allow situations out of my control to just remain there, I find peace that even in my disappointments, I can wait and allow God to make them His divine appointments.

I love this passage Isaiah 61: 1-3

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me  because the Lord has anointed Me, To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison of those who are bound, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord. To comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."

     The Me referred to in this passage is Jesus Christ. When you ask Him into your heart and ask Him to forgive you of all your sins, you receive a new heart, a new mind and a new spirit. And you gain the free gift of eternal life.  All the promises in the Bible become yours. To comfort, cheer and encourage you. To instruct, to teach, to guide and to help you grow into a new life where you can find joy. Freedom from the past, freedom from bondage, and freedom to discover His plan for your life.
I encourage you today to make that decision for your life. And if you're already a Christian to renew your commitment to live every moment for Him.

So in your life if you keep bumping into disappointments that throw you for a loop, turn to God.  Allow Him to turn your disappointments into His appointments.  Weeping may endure for a night but joy, WILL come in the morning.

Day 47 - Keep on keeping on

            Hello and good day to everyone. Last week at my Weight Watchers meeting I celebrated losing 3.8 pounds.  I faced a three day weekend which stretched out like a wonderful present for me to open. I used my days to enjoy the beautiful Oregon coast. The first day I shared last blog, the Labor Day trek I've yet to journal.

We set off, minivan full of family driving into the bright, crisp near fall day. The closer we got to the coast the clearer and brighter the sun. We decided to go to Canon Beach.  Once there three grand kids played in the sand; digging holes, climbing enjoying the beach. I sat for a few minutes and realized all of me wanted to walk. I convinced a daughter to bring one small grandson and we walked the beach, toying with the surf and delighting in watching the young child relish the fun of waves washing in and tugging at his toes.  About a mile down the beach we turned and walked back, exploring for shells, rocks and dead bugs. Things boys love.

Back at the sand dig, now a large, deep hole thanks to the shoveling of one older grandchild, we decided to clean off the sand  and take the kids to Mo's restaurant. I love the place for the beach front views of the ocean, truly breath-taking. I looked over the menu carefully, I know on  Weight Watchers I can have  49 extra points a week, if I want. I knew I could have anything on the menu.  That's a feeling of empowerment for sure, but all I really wanted was a bowl of their clam chowder. We ordered and enjoyed our meal.

  Now an active hiker, I encouraged a trip to nearby Ecola State Park. Once there I noticed a trail head I had not seen before.  "Let's go!" I encouraged the rest of the party.  We began the high coastal mountain trail. It wound through what appeared to be some old growth timber.  The trail climbed higher and higher at what was a fairly steep incline. I noticed myself starting to breath deeply. This was going to be a workout. One adult caught up to me and a grandson, (I noticed they were breathing pretty hard also).  "Hey, give us the car keys, we're going to go back."  I handed the car keys over and kept on.  I wanted to see where the trail went. Up, up, up we went. At some turns we had vistas of the coastal beach and hills far below. I got my second wind and kept going. My young companion began to suggest, "Uh, maybe we should go back?"  Undaunted, I answered, "No, let's keep going. I want to see where it goes."

   
     We continued to hike, higher and higher. We reached a point were the cliffs touched the ocean and we could see a small lighthouse on a small island.  So beautiful. We continued to climb, me not wanting to stop, to reach the end of the trail at all costs.  Finally, realizing the trail went, on and on and the sun was beginning to set lower in the sky I agreed to turn around and go back down. My young companion heaved a sigh of relief and turned to trace the long way back down the mountain.

Many times in life, we face mountains, I know I have. Sometimes getting over them seems impossible. Going around them isn't an option. The mountains stand seemingly impossible to climb.
For me accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and coming into relationship with God through Him has been the saving grace that has allowed me to continue on when things get difficult. To not give up when the mountains remain in my way; to keep believing that day by day God is by my side; strengthening  me; encouraging me; and giving me new hope.

During this last week, the aches and pains of my body have reminded me of the mountain trek of Monday  I have continued to walk during my lunch hours, but the after work exercise I tabled just because I've hurt so much.  Sometimes in life, our goals have to be scaled down also. We need to assess where we are, what are limitations are . For some of us we have health issues, physical disabilities, emotional or psychological issues.  Whatever is facing us, with God's help we can still be overcomers, even if it takes more time than we wanted it to.

For me, deciding to get fit at 62 is a huge commitment. I am going to have to modify my diet, my exercise and keep it up for many months before I am at my goal.  I will need to continue for life to keep the best quality of my life intact.  But this far into the journey it's been wonderful! So many people have come alongside to encourage me, and I enjoy  my Weight Watchers meetings. God is God and prayer changed things. I've prayed and continued to pray that I could be strengthened for my journey.  I've asked for pray from my church family, which they've continued to do.

Note: Weight Loss to date: 11.8 pounds.

Today, if the mountains in your own life seem so high, so impossible, give God a chance. Pray, seek His face and ask Jesus Christ into your heart and life as your personal Savior.  Find a church home, where you can be with other people who love God.  Take care and be blessed, I will continue to keep you posted about my own journey.......waiting for joy in the morning.

Day 46 Learning to Rest

This morning I woke up feeling so happy, joyus. I have the luxury of taking my time waking up, making coffee, oatmeal, washing clothes. Around me the woods outside my window are alive with the sounds of birds greeting the day. It is another beautiful sunny early fall day here.

      Yesterday, after church we packed a small bag of carrots, apples and water and drove to the coast. It was one of those sunny days where the skies echo their blue in forever shades of color. I took a young grandson with me and together in the luxury of my beloved Ford truck we rode along listening to music, enjoying the beauty.

      Once at the coast I let him choose where we would go, Long Beach? Seaside? Fort Stevens? He wanted to go to Fort Stevens and to drive to the end of the beach access road to where you can get to the mouth of the Columbia River. We drove, parked and went to the wildlife viewing platform. There you can walk the beach that hugs the shore next to a small bay that is home to the old railroad trestle from where they used to haul huge bolders to make the jetty. Across the water we could see the smoke from the Civil War re-enactment that was happening at the Fort.

      The sand on the beach was white, warm and inviting. We walked a ways enjoying the view and I found a comfortable log to lean against and let the sun caress my tired body. He called to me, "Gramma, look there are hundreds of jelly fish here, come look!" I got up and walked over to him and looked in the water, hundreds of icky (to me) jelly fish, murky white filled the shallows. We explored further. The beach was littered with the dead bodies of jelly fish. The further we walked around the peninsula of the bay the more jelly fish there were. Wierd, in all my years of going to this beach I've never seen this before.

Rounding the curve of the beach the mightly Columbia River greeted us with it's lapping waves. Here and there fishermen dotted the shore. We hiked until we reached another trail that wound back to the parking lot. Once at the truck I let him choose where we would go next. He wanted to go to the ocean overlook. There we climbed the large wooden structure that allowed us to watch the surge of the waves hit the jetty and the miles long expanse of shorline. In the distance, across the river we could see a Washington lighthouse and the muted blue-green of the Washington hills. We enjoyed our perch for a long time, taking in the waves and beauty, the sheer expanse of ocean breath-taking in its splendor.

Finally, he tired and said, "Let's go there." Pointing North to the trail that follows the jetty to its intersection of ocean and river. We walked, today not for fittness, but just for fun, enjoying the sheer pleasure of being outdoors on a fantastic, perfect day. To the right, a stream flowed under the huge jetty rocks to the ocean. Apparently, at high tide the water comes in under the jetty and makes a lake some hundred yards off. "Let's explore." I told him and we waded through the stream to the lake, surrounded by waving sea grasses, and dense cover of some kind of spongy moss. The water was crystal clear, cool and inviting. When we reached the lake, large holes appeared in the bottom. Mental visions of large crab-like creatures filled my mind and I looked a little more carefully where I stepped. Finally to the other side of the lake we found a elk trail and followed it through the sea grasses to the large sand dune bordering the mouth of the Columbia. The view from the top was something to remember a lifetime. The sun, the river, the ocean waves, really so much beauty. We walked down to the beach and I found another comfortable log to rest against.

I lay there, nestled in the sand, letting the sun bathe away the cares of the week. Near four in the afternoon, flocks of blue herons kept flying over-head. It looked as if they were on course to visit the Washington shore. Elegant, long-beaked, graceful they flew. Sometimes in a v formation, sometimes in long lines strung against the backdrop of river and ocean.

My grandson found rocks, and interesting driftwood and peacefully explored. On the river, a white and green tugboat pulled a large barge towards the ocean. Finally, having baked in the sun we decided to hike back to the truck. Interesting rocks littered the sandy trail next to the jetty and I spied a large blue one I wanted for my flower bed. It weighed probably 40 pounds. Too heavy for me I asked him to carry it. Together we trudged, the roar of the surf pounding the jetty so close on the other side.

At the truck I asked, "Do you want to go anywhere else?" "No," he answered, "not today." We drove home, munching carrots, drinking water just enjoying the calm.

Days like that day are one of the ways we can rest our souls for the harder times of life. No agendas, no must do's, have to do's, just peaceful and restful. A goal oriented, project making person it's difficult for me to just rest. So much of me wants to go, go, go. But I know God has set the one against the other.

In the Old Testament story of creation, I like the part where God created the seventh day, and then rested. Taking time, if possible each week to set aside time to relax allows me mentally and physically to rejuvenate, to recharge. I didn't design the plan, God did, and the more I follow this, the more I get excited about my week and life.

So now, with even an extra day because of Labor Day I am rich with time. Having rested yesterday I am full of energy and desire to tackle projects, to clean, straigten and bring order before the week ahead. The Bible teaches that the Sabbath, or Sunday should be a day of rest, maybe if I followed that more I would discover a better quality of life. I know this week, I feel great!

"Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made." Genesis 2:3


To those of you who long for a Sabbath rest, I encourage to set apart time to just relax, to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors and to renew your mind and spirit. May your days be filled with purpose, your mind with peace and your life with love. Take care.............. God hears and answers prayers.

Day 45 Making progress

 Hello to all. For a week I've been making changes in my life. I have taken a vacation from blogging. Part of that is because I've been getting less sleep due to joining a carpool.  The good news is that it's saving me money and making times fly over the many miles to work and home.

After attending Weight Watchers last week I was very disappointed to stay exactly the same weight. I had hiked, biked so many hours I thought I'd lose at least five pounds.  On top of that I'd eated bags of carrots, apples, grapes and not eaten sweets. I was determined not to give up and later that day I went to the ocean.

Earlier this year, I had visited Fort Stevens with a gandson and gone to the Peter Iredale beach. There we decided to take a walk down the beach. We went aboug a mile and I had to rest, I was too out of shaped to keep going. That bugges me, a lot. For so many years I could go, go, go and having to slow down and face the fact I'm was not only over 60 but also way out of shape.  Much of that feeling contributed to me deciding to blog my journey to fit.

So last Saturday, still disappointed with the lack of weight loss, I kicked it up a notch and decided to not give up!!! So I grabbed tuna sandwiches, carrots, carrots, water, a grandchild and jumped in my Ford truck. Away we went, another perfect day. At Iredale we parked the truck and got out. My goal to reach the jetty about 4 miles away. We walked on the beach, admirding the surf, sand, birds, driftwood. After the first cluster of people by Iredale we were pretty much alone, us and the surf. Blue sky, calm ocean, fresh sea breezes it was a day from paradise. We continued to walk for about 2.25 hours. I didn't hurt, I didn't have to stop to rest. I felt great!!! This is progress!! A lot of progress.
At the jetty, we found a comfortable place to spread out our picnic and enjoyed our lunch watching dogs chase kites, people chase dogs and waves caress the beach with their gentle splashing.

Back again, another 2.25 hours and we reached our truck. Yeah!  It made me celebrate to realize that instead of the tired worn out person I was six weeks before I was gaining strength and endurance. My vow to not give up continued throughout the week. I joined a carpool to cut commuting costs and began walking during lunch. The first day I joined other ladies, younger and more fit. They walked a path which went up through the hills. Winded 3/4 of the way up they showed me a flatter road to take to meet them as they climbed. The second day, they went to lunch and I walked the route myself. I pushed and tried and made it up the entire way! Another personal triumph! I continued to walk lunches all week, enjoying the woods, ripe succulent blackberried and abandoned apples trees with dozens of sweet, ripe apples.

This morning, away to Weight Watchers, got on the scale and I lost 3.6 pounds this week for a total of over 10.  I feel great, knowing that if I keep trying, keep working I will continue to improve my overall fittness.

Spiritually, I continue to ready my Bible daily. My prayer continued to be that God will plant His Word in my heart and life so I will become more like Him. My work continues to be challenging as clients test my boundaries and theirs but God is good and prayer changes things.

To those of you struggling with your own challenges, take heart!  Pray and ask God to surround you with His love and care. Find a church home and force yourself to go weekly, (even when you don't feel like it). You'll grow and find people who can reach out and encourage you in your journey. Remember, weeping only endures for a night, and joy comes in the morning!

Day 44- Capture every moment

 

  Recently I visited a family I love very much. One of their young sons was gifted with a sports car Power Wheels. He's three and has learned the words, awesome and cool and that's how he describes his car. He loves to get behind the wheel and take off exploring his large yard and seeking adventure around every turn. To him, it's as if he's going 60 miles an hour. To see him, small sun-tanned blond child behind the wheel, is to re-experience the joy of childhood all over again.

      On this particular day I was visiting with his parents catching up on the news. He was off to the side of the yard, riding along trying to get my attention. I waved but kept talking. He persisted, coming to a full stop. "I'm stuck," he called to me. "I can't turn." I called back, "No, just step on the pedal, put it in reverse you can get out of there, you do it all the time." Convincingly he pushed the little handle of the forward/reverse level back and forth a number of times, "No," he insisted, "I'm stuck, it won't turn."

      I sighed and walked over. I love this little three year old and don't like to see him upset. I walked to the front of the Power Wheels, bent down to lift the front of the car to turn it around and looked up to see the face of this small child light up with glee as he shifted to forward, and push the pedal down as far as it would go.and yikes! I stepped out of the way just in time as the Power Wheels lurched forward just missing hitting me with a good whack. The little boy, blond hair glistening in the sun, laughed triumphantly. He'd almost got me!

      I went to the parents who were talking and described the fact their young son had just hatched an evil plot to lure me into a trap. They laughed, at his young age the fact he had the capability to do this was endearing, I guess it helped that I wasn't hurt.

      Well, the little guy rode around his yard a bit and then drove over to where I was and stopped. He didn't say, "I'm sorry", but what he did melted my heart. He opened the tiny trunk of his car and took out one bright yellow dandelion, walked over to me and handed it to me, "Here," he said in his three year old voice, "Here's a flower for you."

 

 

     That describes so many of us in our relationship to God. We go off on our own plans and paths, (sometimes like the small boy we even hatch evil plots),  and ignore Him while trying to figure things out. Sometimes we run smack dab into a whole lot of trouble. Sometimes we just wander off and get lost. We come back to God, sometimes in desperation, sometimes sorry for what we've done, and sometimes just because we miss Him and wish we hadn't wandered off. We offer him our hearts, (much like the gift of that bright yellow dandelion) and because of His great love for us He takes us back, forgives us and helps us find our way again.

      How grateful I am for the peace and sense of "all's right with the world" that comes when my heart and life are wrapped up in the love of Jesus. I might experience physical or emotional pain; I might have relationship issues; there might be financial woes; but as long as I have my hand in God's hand, in the center of my being there is a calm

.

      Until you've accepted Jesus as your personal Savior, asked Him to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart, what I'm saying will sound like so much "gibberish" or "psycho-babble". It is truly a peace past understanding. Today I will go to my Weight Watchers meeting, shop for the weeks food, clean a little and then hopefully take off to the ocean. There I will walk the beach, drink in the fresh air and enjoy the sights and sounds of shore. My plans are to renew and refresh my spirit for another work week. How lucky I am to have this freedom and joy.

Today, if in your life, you feel upset, unloved, and lost, dare to ask Jesus to come into your life, to forgive you of your sins, and give you the gift of eternal life. It is the first step on a journey you will never, ever regret. If you need help on that journey send me a comment on my page with your email address and I will send you links for growing in your new life. Have a blessed day and I hope you will make, every moment count. Remember, Jesus is a calm in the storm, an anchor of the soul that connects you to the source of all comfort and hope.

Day 43 How do you eat an elephant?

 

An old joke goes like this, "How do you eat an elephant?" The punch line is, "One bite at a time." I can remember being young and telling that joke to somebody and thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. Well, times and humor changes but in a wierd kind of way, that joke has application to many real life situations. As I shared in several blogs, I'm going through a period of financial woe. A divorce brought a huge drop in income and benefits and now I am left with the job of putting things back together.

On my daily 2.5 hour commute, I've been spending a lot of time praying about this situation. I've claimed Isaiah 54 as being special to my life now. The whole chapter is a message of love and care for people who need God's help. For people who are single, facing life alone, it's often doubly hard to face trials because we're doing it ourselves. I'm claiming Isaiah 54: 5 "For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name." So, when things like insurmountable bills come I take it to the Lord in prayer. "God you know I don't have enough money to pay these bills. You know I can't work another job on top of the one I have, you've got to help me figure it out."

So far I'm gaining a little hope that things will work out eventually. I will maybe lose a possession or two, be unable to get credit, but all in all I'm not worried about starving; or not having water or electricity. So from a stark realistic point of view, things aren't all that bad, just unplesant for a while. As much as I wanted to ride my bike this evening I pulled out the big basket of bills and started in writing letters to creditors. First I made a list in a notebook of everyone I owe. Then I picked who to start with. Well for working on student loans I need my glasses, apparently our government likes very small print, I can't see what it says. So I picked three other bills, wrote two letters, and paid one tiny bill. Yippee! I'm on my way.

God is faithful and will not give us more than we can bear. I had released my divorce situation to God, and lawyers and judges aside I really believe that if God wanted me to get support from that marriage it would have happened. The fact it didn't well I just have to accept it and move on. There is a verse if the new Testament that says, Having food and clothes be content with such things as you have. (I Timothy 6:8) Funny that an old hippy like me should like things so much, but I do. Perhaps learning to let go of loving things is something God knew I really needed to work on, so here I am.

 

  Tonight I missed seeing the trees, paths and breezes by giving up my bike ride to work on my bills, but I'm tackling the "elephant" of my debt, one bite at a time. If I just keep working on it, pretty soon a plan will surface and the whole "burden" feeling will go away. There are millions of people who are going through financial problems, all over the world. Experiencing my own financial problems should help me understand what they are going through. As God comforts me through my own struggle I can share that message to someone else who may think there is no hope. Hope is a priceless thing; you can't buy it or sell it; but through sharing you can give it away. It is my desire that someone, somewhere will read my thoughts and find a spark kindled of daring to believe that God is real, He cares and will help them through their storm.

Today, if the financial giants in your own life are threatening to steal your joy and peace, take heart; God is still on the throne and prayer changes things! Seek Him, ask for help and then do what you can do. Keep believing, your joy will someday come in the morning.