Day 57 Well He brought me through the fire.....

     Sometimes, each of us must go through the fire of difficult circumstances. This week, I've been yelled at by a number of people. I've been frightened and cried.  I don't  find going through times like that fun.  I don't think anybody does.  Looking for the good, at work, many people came to me after being yelled at and let me know they cared. Another good thing, my heart which has been unable to cry, cried. Experiencing the pain, I didn't rejoice in suffering for sure, but in a way it seemed as if I were removed.  I could see the people, I could hear the mean things they were saying, but really ultimately I feel so far away emotionally.

 

I know God cares for me and those people. I don't know how to make things better. Right now, still hurting from the awful things that were said, I'm not really wanting to make things better, I just want to have peace in my life.

 

    Often, peace comes at a cost politically, relationally, and family wise. Sometimes the only way people can justify their actions is to create drama.  Wherever you go, no matter where, there's drama. At this stage of my life, most of the time I avoid drama like crazy.  Sometimes, I am forced into enduring it and I hate it. But, God is good and I survived.  Yes, I've lost some sleep, had a nightmare or two, but I will heal.

 

      I believe for each of us who truly seeks God, He blankets us with His love and allows the healing to take place where the memories of what were said or done loses it sting.  I heave a sign of relief and go on. At this age, and from this perspective, I see much of life, is just going on and to keep trying to stay positive.

 

   It's not always easy, when people lie, or say horrible things, the impulse is say things back.   They went over the limit of what they could say, and threatened violent things. Other people who yelled at me said, mean spiteful things, trying to hurt me, to put me down. I feel worn out. Usually, going to nature helps me but today, I feel so flat about these situations I just am trying to do the mundane things like wash dishes, clothes, clean house, make coffee and do the shopping. Sometimes the routine things have to be done woodenly, but there is some comfort in their familiar routines.

 

     Having had an enormously awful week, I overslept today and woke up at 9 am. I never, ever sleep that late. I realized looking out my window the the sun was too bright on the leaves to be 7 or 8, it had to be later. I rushed to get ready and drove the 18 miles to my Weight Watchers meeting. It means a great deal to me to attend these meetings. To refocus each week on getting fit, making better choices for myself. I arrived at the tail end of the meeting. I weighed in and found out I've lost 19.6 pounds.

    I still have a ways to go but I feel encouraged that if I keep walking and hiking, eat sensibly I'll someday go to my meeting and find out I've reached my goal. 

    And so, I continue on with my life. Somewhat discouraged by what  I've experienced this week but knowing if I keep praying, things will get better.  Sometimes it takes a long while for relationships to heal, years.  I don't know how God will comfort my heart but I trust He will.  It's been so in the past, many times.  I will have to just keep on keeping on. Doing the things I have to do; trying to still care for the people who are my responsibility and trust that where I fall short, God will step in.

 

    So,  still a beautiful fall evening, unbelievably warm, sunny and clear for October.  I am sitting outside my little, city library writing my blog, getting ready to go home to the comfort of my home.  I will get out my Bible this evening, re-read some Psalms and try to regain my perspective on where I am in this world of turmoil and pain; and focus on how God intends for me to seek His plan, and His peace.

 

My song

   Well he's brought me through the fire

    And he's saved me from the flood.

    He's redeemed me by His power,

    And He's cleansed me with His blood...

    And when my trials became so heavy,

    I couldn't take another step,

    That's when my God reached down and said,

    Child it's time for you to get up.

Chorus

    Cause you're going to go higher places,

    Then you've ever gone before

    And those tears you've cried, will all be dried

    And you're never gonna cry no more.

 

    Cause my hands they hold a healing

    My love is full of grace and

    My word will be revealing,

    My perfect plan, my perfect peace.

 

    So when you feeling kind of lowly

    And you think you can't go on

    Just put your trust in Jesus

    And He'll give to you this song.

    And He'll give to you, this song.

        Copyright 2003 Robin

 

   

If in your life you are going through dark scary places, pray, claim God's promises and dare to believe that even though you are in the midst of the storm now, that the day will come when joy comes in the morning.