Day 59 Time to regroup

 

     Yesterday, the Fall rains came with a vengeance. Safe inside my home after completing my errands in town, the gray skies and falling raindrops made a natural backdrop for my own gray mood. I know that when I feel like this, I need to regroup and get a new game plan in place.

 

 

     My strategy consisted of one, finding new words of inspiration to encourage my heart. I watched In Touch on television with Charles Stanley. I find his program has solid, Biblical teaching without the pressure to give beyond my means that so many programs have. He uses sound Biblical principles to look at everyday issues Christians face. So from the comfort of a Lazy Boy recliner, a bowl of steaming hot vegetable beef soup in hand I listened. A familiar story was told, of God's faithfulness to forgive us when we humble ourselves. The fact that God has a plan for each of our lives as we continue to seek Him and place our lives in His care.

 

     By the end of the program, I admit the dark cloud of my wounded heart felt encouraged. No matter who abandons me, or mistreats me, God is still there. The faithfulness of God is a constant that provides me with hope, strength and purpose. It is a "no matter what" kind of love that anchors my soul in times of heartbreak and sorrow.

       I caught the last part of a Joyce Meyer broadcast and found more encouragement. Joyce doesn't sugar coat life's darker moments but presents them in the context of God's redeeming power and love to overcome, to survive, to triumph. More hope began springing up through the tangles of my heartbreak and I knew with a little more rest I would begin to heal from the trauma of the last few weeks.

      Having had a very long work week, I rested, watched a little television and went to bed early. This morning, about 4 am I awoke. After reading my daily devotionals I decided to start reading and re-reading the words of Jesus. I confess, much of what He says, I don't understand because the ability to perform what He requires seems so far from my own capability.

 

 

Before in my life, when reading the Bible, I've loved the Psalms and Proverbs because I can relate more. When David calls down the fire of heavens on his enemies, well, frankly that's something I can wrap my mind around. There is something delightfully comforting about revengeful thoughts. I'm just saying. I realize that David's Psalms come full circle and talk about God's over-riding power to right a wrong situation; to protect and provide for His own. This same sovereignty precludes us, as humans taking revenge. In another passage it's pretty clear when it says, "Vengeance is mine," says the Lord.

      Anyhow, my strategy in re-reading the words of Jesus is that maybe, through the power of the Holy Spirit the meaning and power of His words will begin to be played out in my own life. That I will become more like Him. Many theologians have discussed the metaphysical nature of Jesus's words. That the words themselves are full of power and life. Jesus himself said, "The words I speak to you, they are life." (paraphrased) And so I begin to regroup. Cast down, but not forsaken, I will by God's grace get a new game plan in place for my life.

    Since the seasons have changed and my outside walks will be fewer, today I will have the treadmill brought back upstairs into the family room where I can walk and watch TV at the same time. The exercise bike will go in there also and I will track my time as I continue to straighten my body.

      Spiritually, I will try to get up earlier, to read the Bible more, to immerse myself in Scripture before tackling the taxing job of working with my clients. And, I will pray more, making a list of my prayer requests and bring them often to God in prayer, asking for help, strength, encouragement and hope. I love a song I hear often on the radio, the name escapes me but the phrase, " I know silent prayers get answered, miracles still happen every day."

      I can wait for a miracle. I can do my part to become what God wants me to be and leave the results to Him. Maybe just maybe, as I continue to try, a miracle will happen in me and I will realize that I am able to love the unlovely; to forgive those who hurt me; and to be strong and hopeful in the face of despair. Now that would be a good thing for sure.

Today, if in your life you face mountains of discouragement, pain and despair, know that you have a kind, loving Father who is waiting and willing to help you cope, to help you go through your night of weeping to discover your own joy in the morning. Take care, and I'll talk at you later. Be blessed.