Day 56 Eight weeks 'til Thanksgiving

      Yesterday at Weight Watchers, I was delighted to see I had lost more weight. I've lost 17.6 pounds so far and am much stronger than I was earlier in the summer. Of interest to me was the fact, there are only eight weeks until Thanksgiving.

     It's incredible that with 70 and 80 degree days we are that close to the holidays. Truly what my mother told me in her later years is true, "Robin, the older you get, the faster the time goes." It's true and now I, 62 notice the days, weeks, months, years fly by with a rapidity I want to stop but am unable to, caught by the cycle of birth, life and death.

      My plans had been to escape to the mountains or ocean yesterday. To hug the last few days of warm weather to me like the favorite blanket of a child. But, I had a wonderful opportunity to get as many free apples as I wanted from the orchard of church friends and I could not pass it up. The morning was bright, sunny and warm. My friend's orchard, beautiful, green mowed grass blanketing under the trees rich with ripe, sweet fruit. For me, an apple lover, it was it's own sweet paradise. I came ready to pick what I could, armed with boxes and a strong, young grandson. The friends, young and old helped us and in an hour or so we had nine huge, heavy boxes of apples, one heavy bucket of apples, 1/2 box of pears, 1/4 box of Italian plums. As we left the grandmother, a dear friend of mine for many years, gave me a gift of chives, to season my meals.

       Once home, strong as I'm getting I was unable to lift any of the boxes out of my van and the grandson had a big chore of bringing the boxes up a flight of stairs into the house. My dining room table right now is laden with hundreds of pounds of fruit. Once the owner of a dehydrator that someone borrowed and didn't return, I resorted to halving and pitting two trays of plums to dry into sweet, chewy goodness in the oven over-night.

       I made one pan of steaming hot, sweet applesauce, a weeks worth of chili, and a mashed potato, green bean, hamburger casserole that's been a favorite fall comfort food for many years. I picked up a copy of the Avenger's movie and my grandson and I relaxed, enjoying the movie before going to Saturday night worship team practice.

     It was not the day I planned, but with apples a dollar a pound and more at the store it was a day I could not afford to miss. Today, Sunday School, church, a birthday party and weekly shopping, my ocean trip seems farther and farther away.

         Last night, I had some trouble staying asleep. Something someone recently did to hurt me financially came to haunt me. Ironically forgiveness and resentments is a lecture topic I give to groups of men at the treatment center every month. Well, at the treatment center I can't share Jesus per se but can only talk in terms of Higher Power, and discovering spirituality. At home however, I know that only God can heal the hurt and give me His Spirit to forgive others when they hurt me. 

And so, I claim the verse in I John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I ask God to forgive my unforgiving heart, and to take away my resentments. And, I sleep.

        This morning, the golden sun, another bright, wonderful day, I feel peaceful. The situation have not changed with the financial issues, but they seem farther away from my heart. I know God will help me survive, He always has. The other lesson I've learned, yet again, is how important keeping your word is. Today I've promised to go to Sunday and School and Church. I've promised to go to a birthday party later.

        All of those things I would like to set aside and run to the ocean for a last fling in the sun. But, I said I would, so I will. We have a little saying we have all the men say at the treatment center, "I'm a man worthy of love, honor, trust, dignity and respect." For me, that's true only to the degree that I allow and seek the Spirit of God to continually renew my heart and mind and spirit. It's my goal, it's my mission. And so, maybe somehow I can steal a hour or two to be in the sun at the ocean. To walk the beach, feel the sand smoosh between my toes and drink in the clean ocean breezes. I can hope, I can try. We'll see. In the meantime, I must be up and about my day.

Today may you find your own retreat, your connection with God and renewal of heart and mind. Have a blessed Sunday.