Saturday May 17, 2014
I
woke up happy this morning, peaceful, content. And strangely enough, I had no
desire whatever to have coffee. I’m not sure which was more unusual, being
happy or not wanting my morning coffee. Odd, how life is made up of so many
experiences we weigh and wonder about. I enjoyed the moment. My bedroom faces a
large ravine, with huge cedar, fir trees and an errant vine maple or two. The
ravine is steep, now covered with spring woodland green, bracken and sword
ferns, and other lush, green plants. At the bottom is a creek. In the winters,
this is a roaring, wild small river, pulsing with life and power. Now, after a
hot dry week, it is a soft, gurgling trail of sparkling water making its way
down the forest valley where it will ultimately blend its waters with the
mighty Columbia River. 
This morning, the creeks pleasant sounds along with the
songs of dozens of different birds singing their morning’s blessings are my
companions as I take out my Bible and devotionals to center my thoughts for the
day. I have been reading through the Bible this year, and the last week or so I've been in Jeremiah in the Old Testament.
Admittedly some days I struggle to relate to the story; a mixture of
warnings, messages, wars and conquests. I continue to read. I’m guessing it’s
kind of like taking vitamins. I’m still old school and am downing the
unpleasant pill form. They taste horrible for sure. But, I know they are doing
good as my incredibly good health continues except for maybe a day or two a
year when I’m not so good.
I’m not meaning to say parts of the Bible taste horrible,
but sometimes from the perspective of a 2014 working woman I struggle to relate
to some of the parts. But I continue. My devotionals continue to be warm
friends as their short messages encourage me to continue, to be strong, and to persevere.
So, within the quiet space of my living room I continue to
enjoy the sounds of birds as I type. In the oven, a batch of cinnamon rolls
bake. Outside my window, several of my rose bushes are blooming and it’s a rare
morning of absolute peace. Two of the devotionals today talked about having
quiet moments where you recharge for the next leg of the journey. Today, that’s
my plan. No urgent errands, no must do’s, have to get done. I will gently and
quietly do those things I want to do. Like making cinnamon rolls; washing
dishes in hot sudsy water; tackling the laundry, taking joy in folding clean and
soft towels. Looking out the windows of my home, I feel some urges to weed a
flower bed or two. I have found that it is often the menial tasks of life which
bring me the most joy. The everydayness of things that are comforting in their
sameness; their easy to see results satisfyingly stretched out without any
complications. A whiff of hot cinnamon rolls wafts into the living room, I
suppose I should go check them.
I enjoy a cinnamon roll, savoring the taste of the hot
home-made bread and rich cinnamon spice. The sun, poking its warm, yellow face
between drifting banks of clouds bathes my yard in its glow. I am so fortunate
to live in a home with big windows and views of skies and trees. Thank you God
Recently, I have stepped up my efforts to pray for the
people who have hurt me. To ask God to help them, to lead them, to call them to
Himself. Slowly, the pain of their actions is leaving my heart and soul. God
is, “taking the sting” out of the memories. I see some of these people in my
everyday life and the memories aren't gone, (the harsh words, the criticisms,
the broken promises etc.) but I am seeing more of the dark circles under some
eyes; the worry lines on faces, the sounds of stress in their voices. I believe
as I submit my right to myself to have the hurt feelings, to keep the
resentments, that God is healing the effects of their actions in my life.
In the job I have, I spend hours daily talking to people,
listening to people. Most of these people are teenagers. They share about their
lives; abandonment, abuse, neglect, confusion, pain, suffering, addiction. I
try to help steer them in the right direction; to encourage them to seek their
connection with their Higher Power. To connect with resources in the community
to help them sort out their lives. Sometimes, they shut down, maybe even swear.
For so many, being willing to seek a High Power (God) after all they've experienced in life seems ludicrous to them. So many unanswered questions of, “Why did my parents have to be drug addicts?” “Why did they have to put me through
so much pain and suffering?” “If God loves me why on earth would He allow all
this horrible stuff to happen?”
The kids don’t always verbalize these sentiments, but they
lay hidden behind their masks of, “cool”, “tough”, “I’ll do what I want.” I continue to try to be kind. To offer a
listening ear, information, and an opportunity to seek a different way of life
if they want it.
For me, now, I am so fortunate, thank you God. Clouds are covering
the sun again and the wind is picking up but it’s o.k. My mood is not dependent on
the weather. My happiness is not dependent on circumstances. My hope is in the
Lord.
To all of you wherever you are,
take hope, seek God,
and
joy in believing
in time -
you will have joy in the morning.
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