Saturday May 17, 2014

“Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones, And give thanks to His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning.” Psalms 34:4,5

I woke up happy this morning, peaceful, content. And strangely enough, I had no desire whatever to have coffee. I’m not sure which was more unusual, being happy or not wanting my morning coffee. Odd, how life is made up of so many experiences we weigh and wonder about. I enjoyed the moment. My bedroom faces a large ravine, with huge cedar, fir trees and an errant vine maple or two. The ravine is steep, now covered with spring woodland green, bracken and sword ferns, and other lush, green plants. At the bottom is a creek. In the winters, this is a roaring, wild small river, pulsing with life and power. Now, after a hot dry week, it is a soft, gurgling trail of sparkling water making its way down the forest valley where it will ultimately blend its waters with the mighty Columbia River.

          This morning, the creeks pleasant sounds along with the songs of dozens of different birds singing their morning’s blessings are my companions as I take out my Bible and devotionals to center my thoughts for the day. I have been reading through the Bible this year, and the last week or so I’ve been in Jerimiah in the Old Testament.  Admittedly some days I struggle to relate to story, a mixture of warnings, messages, wars and conquests. I continue to read. I’m guessing it’s kind of like taking vitamins. I’m still old school and am downing the unpleasant pill form. They taste horrible for sure. But, I know they are doing good as my incredibly good health continues except for maybe a day or two a year when I’m not so good.

          I’m not meaning to say parts of the Bible taste horrible, but sometimes from the perspective of a 2014 working woman I struggle to relate to some of the parts. But I continue. My devotionals continue to be warm friends as their short messages encourage me to continue, to be strong, and to persevere.

          So, within the quiet space of my living room I continue to enjoy the sounds of birds as I type. In the oven, a batch of cinnamon rolls bake. Outside my window, several of my rose bushes are blooming and it’s a rare morning of absolute peace. Two of the devotionals today talked about having quiet moments where you recharge for the next leg of the journey. Today, that’s my plan. No urgent errands, no must do’s, have to get dons. I will gently and quietly do those things I want to do. Like making cinnamon rolls; washing dishes in hot sudsy water; tackling the laundry, taking joy in folding clean, and soft towels. Looking out the windows of my home, I feel some urges to weed a flower bed or two. I have found that it is often the menial tasks of life which bring me the most joy. The everyday-ness of things comforting in their sameness; their easy to see results satisfyingly stretched out without any complications. A whiff of hot cinnamon rolls wafts into the living room, I suppose I should go check them.

          I enjoy a cinnamon roll, savoring the taste of the hot home-made bread and rich cinnamon spice. The sun, poking its warm, yellow face between drifting banks of clouds bathes my yard in its glow. I am so fortunate to live in a home with big windows and views of skies and trees. Thank you God

          Recently, I have stepped up my efforts to pray for the people who have hurt me. To ask God to help them, to lead them, to call them to Himself. Slowly, the pain of their actions is leaving my heart and soul. God is, “taking the sting” out of the memories. I see some of these people in my everyday life and the memories aren’t gone, (the harsh words, the criticism, the broken promises etc.) but I am seeing more of the dark circles under some eyes; the worry lines on faces, the sounds of stress in their voices. I believe as I submit my right to myself to have the hurt feelings, to keep the resentments, the God is healing the effects of their actions in my life.

          In the job I have, I spend hours daily talking to people, listening to people. Most of these people are teenagers. They share about their lives; abandonment, abuse, neglect, confusion, pain, suffering, addiction. I try to help steer them in the right direction; to encourage them to seek their connection with their Higher Power. To connect with resources in the community to help them sort out their lives. Sometimes, they shut down, maybe even swear. For so many, being willing to seek a High Power (God) after all they’ve experienced in life seems ludicrous to them. So many unanswered questions of, “Why did my parents have to be drug addicts?” “Why did they have to put me through so much pain and suffering?” “If God loves me why on earth would He allow all this horrible stuff to happen?”

          The kids don’t always verbalize these sentiments, but they lay hidden behind their masks of, “cool”, “tough”, “I’ll do what I want.”  I continue to try to be kind. To offer a listening ear, information, and an opportunity to seek a different way of life if they want it. My boss tells us, “Don’t get discouraged at the ones who go back out, (into drugs etc.)  Realize that you are planting seeds. Those seeds may lay dormant for a long while but they are there.”

          For me, now, I am so fortunate, thank you God. Clouds are covering the sun again and the wind is picking up but it’s ok. My mood is dependent on the weather. My happiness is not dependent on circumstances. My hope is in the Lord.

          To all of you wherever you are, take hope, seek God, and joy in believing in time you will have joy in the morning.