Day 68 - Winter

Day 68- Winter

I will venture out in the rain early this morning and attend my Weight Watchers meeting. It's been a long week of tempting treats, calorie laden gravy, potatoes and jello salads. I am mentally preparing myself for the possibility for the first time in months, I will have gained weight. I tried to lighten things up, fat free milk in the pumpkin pies along with artificial sweetener. Just so you know, didn't taste good. Two pies for the dogs to enjoy. I know I won't do that again.(Note: went to my meeting up 1.4 pounds, time to refocus and get serious.)

Somethings, still called my name. Had to try cookies one family member brought. Yes I know what they taste like, but there they were with their rich, ooey goodness and I had to have just one, of each. The temptation would be to throw in the towel, (so to speak) throw caution and healthy eating to the wind, and eat rich, fattening foods now through the New Year's. It is a fleeting temptation, and instead I look forward to getting back on track, regrouping and upping my exercise to combat the Thanksgiving . It's funny, when I was little, 5-6, turkey manufacturers came up with a new marketing tool, calling their turkey's butterballs.

My brother, then an up and coming, over achieving student decided that would be my new name, butterball. I lived up to the name, stout, sturdy, full of North Dakota style cooking, of pork chops, fried chicken, roasts and mounds of buttery rich fluffy mashed potatoes. It is only by the grace of God, and my love of outdoors that I did not become morbidly obese as a child, a "Prater-willy" anomaly.

But, I thinned out and weighed in with the "not thin, but not fat" girls throughout my youth. As a single parent with lots of kids, damaged self-esteem, and need for comfort I ate myself up and down the food pyramid. I had four children and the baby weight came off slower sometimes, then others. My memories, and photo journals are epic tales of me, normal, heavy, heavier, and heaviest. Up down, around she goes, where she stops, nobody knows. I know I am not alone. People who struggle with overeating usually have closets full of clothes, arranged in sections by which weight of the year they are currently.

Now, into the age where accepting wrinkles is part of life's challenges I am determined to not push my body to carry excess baggage. I'd much rather be toting a backpack up a mountain, then my own over-burdened frame. So, I will attend my meeting, purchase more fruit and veggies and say goodbye to this holidays indulgences.

Seeking insight on a spiritual note, I take comfort in the following verse:

"I am confidant that He who began a good work in Me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

God began His work in my life, He will complete. My job it to remain humble and open to constantly changing. To letting go of self, and become more like God wants me to be. I do not have to despair because I am not perfect; and I do not need to be accepting of imperfections when I see them. It is a continual growth process, authored by God, and engineered through His providence's. I have a business partner so to speak, who will accompany me on my journey and be there to help me through the rough places. He authored the business plan, He provided the capital, and He is the project manager.

And so, I rest in that assurance. Well, my day has begun and I must be about. May you all find joy and peace in believing. God hears and answers prayers.

Keep looking up!