Day 1 of the next 100 - The everydayness of things.

 Here I am, early evening. Clouds still full or rain, darken the skies in leaden grays. It was a wet, cold, Memorial day. I worked, driving the long commute of 2.5 hours round-trip  The drive there gave me time to lift my family up in prayer. Many of them, worlds away in thoughts and lives I never see and can only come close by remembering them to God, to bless, guide and protect.

At work, month end reports, lectures, and many miscellaneous needs captured my thoughts, mind, and attention. While I ate my bananas, apples, and cheese slices, the men ate Barbecued ribs,   potato salad, fruit salad swimming in whipped cream, corn on the cob spread with rich butter, and watermelon slices piled high. Our cooks out -do themselves with special feasts for men away from home, hopefully working on their recovery. Me, working on my own recovery of sorts, stayed to the plan and ate my healthier, leaner fare. I had a choice, I chose to follow my plan.

Finally, the day winding down, the long commute over, I picked up a family member and they entered the car with the greater part of two, (yes two) pizza's. Yikers! By this time the insides of my stomach were screaming for food, "Feed me!'" "Feed me"

At home I did a quick survey.  Vegetables, I knew I needed vegetables. I needed them quick! I sliced some lettuce, diced some tomatoes and cucumbers and reached for the salad dressing. Ah, beloved Hidden Valley ranch, truly the nectar of the ranch God's. Yikers again! I glanced at the calorie and fat content and realized the dressing is the kiss of death for losing weight. Laden with rich, ooey goodness of massive amounts of FAT!!!

I rethought my choice and reached for Cheese Fantastico.  1.5 grams of fat per 2 Tablespoons. Fantastic, I could enjoy lots of flavor without an extra helping of guilt.

I broiled a steak, boiled cauliflower and enjoyed my own Memorial Day feast. Yum.

Now, full and tired, I am keeping  my commitment to blogging daily which brings me to this, much of life is marked by being full of everydayness. A word I've coined to represent all the must do's, have to's and gotta get dones. Everyone has them. Everyone. Mine might look different from yours, or the next door neighbor's but everyone has their list.  Even if you don't work outside the home, there are still things you've got to do; wash clothes, pay bills, clean house, walk the dog. The list may be small or long but one thing is for sure, the very commonness of the tasks can provide fodder to fuel the fires of wanting to splurge in eating. Ah, there is comfort (if temporary) in a big, sugary piece of pie. Or a bowl of your favorite ice cream. The sugar and fat hit the neuro-transmitters in your brain that says, "oh yeah, pleasure center, connection made." However, given enough splurges from vagrant urges, we all know what comes next, more of you to love, a lot more.

I don't want to be the poster child for obesity rocks! Contrary to popular opinion, fat people are not more jolly. Very often we're miserable, trapped in the layers of our own bodies, suffocating from the coverings of fat the we trail along like some long lost vestiges of people in our past. It's not fun to be fat, and in this culture being fat not only leads to a lot of health related risks, it also contributes to serious loss of self-esteem. Fat people are thought as being less intelligent, less creative and less desirable. Wow, sign me up. Just what I want out of life.

No, fact is I signed myself up by finding comfort from eating rather than facing stress, loneliness  anger, and a multitude of other annoying emotions. Instead of "eating for two" like the days when I was pregnant, I've been eating for love, or lack there of, depending on how you look at it.

And so, now Day 1, of getting serious about this next 100 days begins. Should I be discouraged that no one who reads my blog has checked in with wanting to go on the journey?  Well should I?  Well, I suppose I could think, "Maybe I should recant, and regroup, rethink, this journey so it's not so blatantly obvious that at this point one is the loneliest number that I've ever heard...... (thank you Beatles). Nope, I'm not giving up. Maybe, someone is reading this daily thinking through their own commitment to change. Maybe as they vicariously read of my struggle and triumphs they will gain the will to begin their own journey.  Yep, I might be helping thousands...... ooops flight of fantasy there, let me recap.

If I take a journey of one, me, myself and I, and I gain strength, determination, and success from journaling my experiences, is there a negative? What measure of success am I looking at? 

Physically, emotionally and spiritually it's become important in my life to develop more self-discipline. Because of the nature of my work, I naturally want to inspire others to come on the journey; that's what I try to do daily. Inspire others to choose to want a different life, a better life where goals and dreams become new realities. 

I can't deal with the maybe's, I can only deal with the can-be's. Want-ta-be's unite!!!

Well, it might be the steam talking, but I feel enthused. The next thing is getting out of my truck at 8 pm, on a cold, dark evening, and forcing myself to walk in the park.  Yikers...... I'll let you know how that goes tomorrow. Take care.....and be blessed. God is good and prayer changes things.