Well,
memory lane trips aside, I feel happy. I’ve taken the day off and the luxury of
three whole days spans before me. How fortunate I am to have a good job in
these times of economic hardship. How thankful I am that I am still in good
health, strong and able-bodied.
Last week, we had an evangelist in our
church. He sang, he talked. He invited people who wanted to be prayed for to
come forward. Well I’m not much for running to the altar but I decided to go,
“It couldn’t hurt.” Were my thoughts. I guess in many ways I’m kind of a
doubting Thomas. I believe yes, but often I question.
Waiting up
there to be prayed for several people placed their hands on my shoulders. I
appreciated their prayers. Occasionally I feel so tired with the 12 hour days
and stress of being a drug and alcohol treatment counselor, I need continual renewal. And
sometimes, I confess the mistakes of my past threaten my peace as financial
wreckage surfaces and I try to regroup and get a new plan.
I started to
cry and tears ran down my cheeks. Not sure why but there I was crying when the
evangelist came and asked me what I wanted to be prayed for. Through my tears I
asked for two things, “Strength, and
more love for my family.” I had other
things, unspoken I wanted to be prayed for but decided those things could be
between me and God. And then…. The evangelist began to pray and speak out my
unspoken requests. Ok, that was both weird and faith building. He spoke over me
a blessing and release of curses that had come over my life. He spoke a freedom into my life by the power
of God.
I’ve felt
more peaceful this week, sort of like, “God’s got this.” (my life, my fiances
my family.) I’m waiting. Yesterday praying for family and friends on the way to
work I passed my mini-van sitting at the car lot, still unsold. I prayed for
God’s help to unravel this financial mess which is my life. I took
responsibility for making unwise choices and asked God to somehow fix it. How I
don’t know.
Later that
day I got news that one of the best agencies for treatment was calling me for
an interview. I’d submitted that application months ago. Hmmm…. I kind of feel
like those movies when the ships gets stuck in an ice pack and everyone starts
panicking. Then the Captain comes up with a brilliant plan to blast their way
free. A shout goes up and the ice breaks apart, the ship is free!
At work, I
submitted a plan to write a training manual for our counseling staff to our
Director. He forwarded it to the Program Manager and he told me he likes it. He
printed it out and gave it to the management team to review. He wants all of us
to provide input but to get it done.
This is exciting to me. It means that God is blessing me, that He is
providing opportunity to show His power, His creativity, His intelligence
through a willing heart mine.
Those of my
church members who have known me over the ten years I’ve been attending there
know that God is doing a work in my life. They remember the stuttering, tears,
emotions I couldn’t manage. They remember the frustrations, temper and anguish
that seemed to master me. God in His infinite wisdom and love is restoring my
life and my strength. He is creating beauty from ashes. He is giving me the oil
of gladness for the spirit of mourning.
He is giving me joy in the morning.
Funny, I’m
looking out my window and some sort of large unknown bird is sitting on a branch.
It’s huge, looking around. I’m going to go closer and see if I can recognize
what it is. Just a second…..Well, I’ve never seen a bird like that in my life.
It’s kind of an albino large pigeon. It is light gray and a few faint darker
speckles on its back. It turned and looked at me and I thought, ‘Well it
doesn’t look like a harbinger of death so I guess I’m good to go.”
Call
from family, wishing me Happy Birthday and a trip to Walmart is imminent. Yeah howdy.
And to my special daughter who graduated from college this week, Congratulations! I am very proud of the fine person you are!
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