Rest
Stop On the Highway of Life
Today marked a change point in my life. I have been praying
for a new direction, an enhanced realization of purpose, being content with
what I have and who I am. What I discovered is this, I’ve been feeling ill for
a while, pain, stabbing, and occasional bouts of severe dizziness; all of which
I’ve ignored and kept on keeping on.
With a moment of clarity, I stopped procrastinating and
drove myself to the Dr.’s office. They checked my vitals, sent me home and
rescheduled an exam for tomorrow at 11 am. I can’t beat myself up with, Why did
I wait? Or What was I thinking? The truth is, I am used to pushing through
pain, emotional and/or physical and doing what I have to do. I admired Stoicism
as a young person and admire hard work, perseverance and people who don’t whine
about things.
In the mean while, I have risked my life for some kind of
token idol, and ignored the fact something is wrong.
So, I came home after going to the Dr.’s and I’ve been
sitting, lying down since. Family came to be with me and worked around
gramma/mom worry lining their faces as the strangeness of me being “sick” sinks
in. My grandson, offers me movies, oranges, Tylenol, coffee, anything he thinks
might help. I’ve been there for him his whole life and the whole unknown is
shaking him up a little.
Two of my little grandsons greet me, one with open arms and
crys of “Gramma!” Certainly there can be
few things as heart-warming as being loved by grandchildren.
Funny, in a way, after yesterday wanting to find new
purpose to my life I sort of wake up and realize, “I need medical help,
something is wrong.” Weird, but true.
So I rest on the couch, TV on, skies still light with
evening’s darkness slowly creeping on.
Tomorrow will be a beginning of sorts; exams, tests,
questions, answers and questions. God holds my life in His hands. Each day is a
gift, today perhaps will lead to a renewal of energy as the Dr sorts out my
symptoms and does the slow work of diagnosis.
So and all, it was a good day, different than most, but
still different surrounded by people who love me and care. Could I ask for
anything more? I think not. To be loved is a gift to be treasured always.
To those of you facing your own unknowns, take heart, and
lift up your prayers to God. He hears and answers prayers. He is the God of all
comfort and He can and will calm the storms in your life.
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