Rest Stop On Life's Highway

Rest Stop On the Highway of Life

          Today marked a change point in my life. I have been praying for a new direction, an enhanced realization of purpose, being content with what I have and who I am. What I discovered is this, I’ve been feeling ill for a while, pain, stabbing, and occasional bouts of severe dizziness; all of which I’ve ignored and kept on keeping on.

          With a moment of clarity, I stopped procrastinating and drove myself to the Dr.’s office. They checked my vitals, sent me home and rescheduled an exam for tomorrow at 11 am. I can’t beat myself up with, Why did I wait? Or What was I thinking? The truth is, I am used to pushing through pain, emotional and/or physical and doing what I have to do. I admired Stoicism as a young person and admire hard work, perseverance and people who don’t whine about things.

          In the mean while, I have risked my life for some kind of token idol, and ignored the fact something is wrong.

          So, I came home after going to the Dr.’s and I’ve been sitting, lying down since. Family came to be with me and worked around gramma/mom worry lining their faces as the strangeness of me being “sick” sinks in. My grandson, offers me movies, oranges, Tylenol, coffee, anything he thinks might help. I’ve been there for him his whole life and the whole unknown is shaking him up a little.

          Two of my little grandsons greet me, one with open arms and crys of “Gramma!”  Certainly there can be few things as heart-warming as being loved by grandchildren.

          Funny, in a way, after yesterday wanting to find new purpose to my life I sort of wake up and realize, “I need medical help, something is wrong.” Weird, but true.

          So I rest on the couch, TV on, skies still light with evening’s darkness slowly creeping on.

          Tomorrow will be a beginning of sorts; exams, tests, questions, answers and questions. God holds my life in His hands. Each day is a gift, today perhaps will lead to a renewal of energy as the Dr sorts out my symptoms and does the slow work of diagnosis.

          So and all, it was a good day, different than most, but still different surrounded by people who love me and care. Could I ask for anything more? I think not. To be loved is a gift to be treasured always.

          To those of you facing your own unknowns, take heart, and lift up your prayers to God. He hears and answers prayers. He is the God of all comfort and He can and will calm the storms in your life.