Sitting at home in my recliner this morning looking out
the window on a gray world; skies leaden
with dull mask covering the golden sun. It is ok, I remember yesterday with its
warmth, sunshine and beauty; and more importantly I believe the sun will shine
again. I cannot work today, I am hurting after having an invasive biopsy and I
sit waiting for my body to heal.
My mind? Well my mind keeps spinning on gotta do’s,
have to get done, must accomplish tasks that lay before me. Maybe, just maybe
for today the list will be untouched and I will rest.
Read my Bible this morning, the last few chapters of
Mark. Re-reading Mark this time through I’ve began to see more clearly how many
emotions Jesus had. This is impactful for me because somewhere along the line
of my life I had picked up the notion Jesus was a Stoic. By that I mean he was
able to observe life, people with their flaws, sins and vices and not
experience the anger, hurt, and disappointment that “normal” people do. I guess
I best can explain it by talking about Spock on Star Trek. (Right now I can
envision some of my family reading this saying, “Good grief, now she’s really
gone off the rails.”)
Spock was half human, half alien. He could
dispassionately observe a stressful situation and make a calm, collected
analysis, often bugging Bones (the Dr) or the Captain. They alternately valued
his analysis and despised his inability to empathize with their agonizing
emotions about those same issues. Growing up as an emotional, musical child who
was, and am anything but calm, cool and collected, I somehow translated this
into perceiving Jesus, as God/man as having the ability to not experience the
uncomfortableness of feeling.
Recently, asking God to continually cleanse me and
allow His Spirit to teach me more about Jesus, I have come to see over and over
in the Gospels that Jesus felt all kinds of emotions. Being burdened by the
weight of these awareness of people and sin and suffering, He often went away
by himself, or with his closest friends to the mountains or the sea or Garden
to pray and gain strength. Jesus experienced anger, he experienced
disappointment, he experienced compassion, he experienced despair. He was fully
human and fully God. I do not understand how this is possible but I choose to
believe in His deity.
I don’t begin
to understand how my TV works, but that doesn’t stop me from believing
it works, and watching it. The same is true with millions of things in our
physical world. If their functioning depending on our understanding how they exist
we, the world, would have spun apart eons ago. The point I’m trying to make is
we have faith in so many things we don’t understand and never can. Why is it
faith in Jesus is seen as being so “uncool” by so many people? Why are
Christians ridiculed for their faith as needing a crutch of religion to get by
in the world?
I don’t know, but I am happy to say, I no longer
care either. It’s not as important as it once was to me to be popular; to be
one of the in crowd. I choose to believe.
“Faith is the substance of things hoped for the
evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1
It is comforting to me to increasingly understand
that Jesus, can understand me and my many emotions because Jesus experienced
emotions. The same Jesus who had compassion on the hungry, the hopeless, the
hurting, the helpless can have compassion on me in the middle of my pain. I
don’t have to be perfect to have Him accept me. I don’t have my physical,
emotional, and spiritual to-do list done for Him to love me.
“While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
“While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
This acceptance, this caring, this forgiveness, this
cleansing is free and it’s not contingent on my goodness, my suitability, my
‘rightness” it is available to whosoever. I’m in the whosoever; me with my
flaws, weaknesses, failings, and emotions can come to Jesus, just as I am and
say, “Help me Jesus. I fall short of your glory and goodness. I fall short of
your standard of love and forgiveness. Help me Jesus, without you I am nothing.
I need your help with life, it’s a bit too much for me to deal with right now.
I am weak, I need your strength. I am upset I need your peace.”
And His promises are true, He is faithful to forgive
and cleanse and He cares. Unlike a Stoic Spock, Jesus feels our sorrows, He
cares about our hurts. He is omnipotent, He is omnipresent. He being God can
transcend our time and our space. He can come into our hearts and lives in the
middle of our pain, in the middle of our trials and offer us, His peace in the
midst of the storm. His strength in the midst of weakness. His love in the
midst of hurt, resentment and pain.
And so now, I’m in the middle of my own storm of a
health crisis but I know that in the middle of this, I can find His peace. I
can find His strength. I honestly and truly believe that something good is
going to come out of this, I’m not sure what, I’m not sure where but this one
thing I know; in rough times in my life before Jesus has rescued me. He has
helped me survive. He has been my provision, my provider, my friend, my comforter,
my support, my shield, my righteousness, my deliverer and my Savior. He will
not fail me now. Whether in life or death He will walk beside me and say, “Fear
not I am with you. I will hold your right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our
sorrows.” Isaiah 53: 4
Look up, seek His face. He will honor your prayers for help and will help you. He has promised, and His word is good.
Need more information on how to find a new life with God? Google, In Touch Ministries with Charles Stanley
http://www.intouch.org/
Need more information on how to find a new life with God? Google, In Touch Ministries with Charles Stanley
http://www.intouch.org/
No comments:
Post a Comment