Gotta do, have to get done, going to wait; moment by moment

     Sitting at home in my recliner this morning looking out the window  on a gray world; skies leaden with dull mask covering the golden sun. It is ok, I remember yesterday with its warmth, sunshine and beauty; and more importantly I believe the sun will shine again. I cannot work today, I am hurting after having an invasive biopsy and I sit waiting for my body to heal.

     My mind? Well my mind keeps spinning on gotta do’s, have to get done, must accomplish tasks that lay before me. Maybe, just maybe for today the list will be untouched and I will rest.

     Read my Bible this morning, the last few chapters of Mark. Re-reading Mark this time through I’ve began to see more clearly how many emotions Jesus had. This is impactful for me because somewhere along the line of my life I had picked up the notion Jesus was a Stoic. By that I mean he was able to observe life, people with their flaws, sins and vices and not experience the anger, hurt, and disappointment that “normal” people do. I guess I best can explain it by talking about Spock on Star Trek. (Right now I can envision some of my family reading this saying, “Good grief, now she’s really gone off the rails.”)

      Spock was half human, half alien. He could dispassionately observe a stressful situation and make a calm, collected analysis, often bugging Bones (the Dr) or the Captain. They alternately valued his analysis and despised his inability to empathize with their agonizing emotions about those same issues.  Growing up as an emotional, musical child who was, and am anything but calm, cool and collected, I somehow translated this into perceiving Jesus, as God/man as having the ability to not experience the uncomfortableness of feeling.

     Recently, asking God to continually cleanse me and allow His Spirit to teach me more about Jesus, I have come to see over and over in the Gospels that Jesus felt all kinds of emotions. Being burdened by the weight of these awareness of people and sin and suffering, He often went away by himself, or with his closest friends to the mountains or the sea or Garden to pray and gain strength. Jesus experienced anger, he experienced disappointment, he experienced compassion, he experienced despair. He was fully human and fully God. I do not understand how this is possible but I choose to believe in His deity.

     I don’t begin  to understand how my TV works, but that doesn’t stop me from believing it works, and watching it. The same is true with millions of things in our physical world. If their functioning depending on our understanding how they exist we, the world, would have spun apart eons ago. The point I’m trying to make is we have faith in so many things we don’t understand and never can. Why is it faith in Jesus is seen as being so “uncool” by so many people? Why are Christians ridiculed for their faith as needing a crutch of religion to get by in the world?

     I don’t know, but I am happy to say, I no longer care either. It’s not as important as it once was to me to be popular; to be one of the in crowd. I choose to believe.

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

It is comforting to me to increasingly understand that Jesus, can understand me and my many emotions because Jesus experienced emotions. The same Jesus who had compassion on the hungry, the hopeless, the hurting, the helpless can have compassion on me in the middle of my pain. I don’t have to be perfect to have Him accept me. I don’t have my physical, emotional, and spiritual to-do list done for Him to love me.

 “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

      This acceptance, this caring, this forgiveness, this cleansing is free and it’s not contingent on my goodness, my suitability, my ‘rightness” it is available to whosoever. I’m in the whosoever; me with my flaws, weaknesses, failings, and emotions can come to Jesus, just as I am and say, “Help me Jesus. I fall short of your glory and goodness. I fall short of your standard of love and forgiveness. Help me Jesus, without you I am nothing. I need your help with life, it’s a bit too much for me to deal with right now. I am weak, I need your strength. I am upset I need your peace.”

     And His promises are true, He is faithful to forgive and cleanse and He cares. Unlike a Stoic Spock, Jesus feels our sorrows, He cares about our hurts. He is omnipotent, He is omnipresent. He being God can transcend our time and our space. He can come into our hearts and lives in the middle of our pain, in the middle of our trials and offer us, His peace in the midst of the storm. His strength in the midst of weakness. His love in the midst of hurt, resentment and pain.

     And so now, I’m in the middle of my own storm of a health crisis but I know that in the middle of this, I can find His peace. I can find His strength. I honestly and truly believe that something good is going to come out of this, I’m not sure what, I’m not sure where but this one thing I know; in rough times in my life before Jesus has rescued me. He has helped me survive. He has been my provision, my provider, my friend, my comforter, my support, my shield, my righteousness, my deliverer and my Savior. He will not fail me now. Whether in life or death He will walk beside me and say, “Fear not I am with you. I will hold your right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” Isaiah 53: 4

Look up, seek His face. He will honor your prayers for help and will help you. He has promised, and His word is good.

Need more information on how to find a new life with God? Google, In Touch Ministries with Charles Stanley


http://www.intouch.org/