Awake before five, song in my head. I love mornings. It's like getting a package of new socks.
When my children were little, they always loved getting ready to go back to
school. We'd make lists, we'd plan and then we'd shop. When we'd shop each
child would have their own special extravagance; a pair of name brand shoes or
jeans; a special outfit. Teaching them
about money involved letting them understand one expensive item would cost
several less expensive shirts or pants.
They were so precious planning their outfits, mixing and
matching colors and styles. Very early
they learned about budgets. We'd bring all the new clothes home and the rules
were, you couldn't wear your new clothes until the first day of school. How
they so longed to wear their new things. They would barter and beg looking for
me to give in. One especially tempting package for them was always the packages
of new socks. Sometimes they would give in to temptation and I would find them
running out to play their bright white socks loudly proclaiming their weakness.
Morning is like those packages of new socks for me, I can
hardly wait to open them. There is something fresh and new in morning air, the whole beginning again new is
a gift. How fortunate I am that I am not burdened down with regrets and pain
from past mistakes.
At work yesterday
it struck me how much sadness was in my client’s faces. As I looked around my
group I realized not really any of them looked happy, instead the weight of
their pasts were mirrored in their faces. I almost felt guilty for being so
happy, as if somehow the blessings of my own life mocked theirs. But one thing
I know, my freedom from guilt and shame came only through God's healing
power.
There was a time when all my mistakes, (many) haunted me and not being
able to forgive myself and others made my life very unhappy. I learned that
through prayer, mine and others, I could find the peace of forgiveness I longed
for. It was and is a journey of
learning.
It is as if you see a high mountain in the hills, you
drive to find where it starts. You discover the trail that leads to its peak
and decide to get out and climb. The pack on your back is heavy, the straps
hurt but you persist. Climbing, climbing, climbing until finally after several
days you reach the summit and enjoy the breath-taking vista of eons of valleys,
hills and rivers painting the distance with their colors of greens and blues.
On this journey of my life I've made the decision I need
to pack a little more wisely.* to acquire some new healthier ways of living. It
is a new adventure and I want to move forward. It is Day Three and yesterday
apples, bananas and salads were choices that made that day a healthy one.
Sharing with people, listening to people and caring made it a happy one. 
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