Day 82 – New Year’s Day
The
day dawned a glorious blue-skied, bright sunny day. The snow, white frosting
across the landscape adds a surreal feel. I look out on a deep forest ravine,
sheltering a roaring creek making its way down the hill.
I
am truly blessed. This morning I put away the devotional books that have been
my companions through several years. I want to discover new worlds of
awareness’s. Yes, these books have been trusty companions, sharing warmth, wit,
insight, spiritual direction, but it is time to move on.
Waiting
for coffee I continue to clean and sort, matching silverware, cups, plates,
measuring spoons, folding dish towels, simple tasks with rewarding pleasure. I
realize, at my age, it is just for a while that I have the privilege of doing
these things. Before I know it, someone else will make my coffee, do my
laundry, cook my meals. Watching my mother slide into incapacity after 91 years
of cooking, cleaning, writing, calling, praying, the awareness has hit me hard
about the fleeting nature of life and that in a blink of an eye we are gone.
This
morning, safe, full, warm, seeing the brilliant, beautiful winter day I am
experiencing an overwhelming sense of heaven. For this moment however brief, I
am happy, joyous. My joy has come in the morning, this morning. Last night,
waiting for the New Year to come I enjoyed watching little grandsons. One in the car and truck stage ceaselessly
drove over imaginary roads. Gifted with a new scooter he discovered ways to
drive it around the house sitting down. After
a while he clambered up on the couch and snuggled next to me, one of many
grandmothers who he senses loves and appreciates him.
The
other child incredibly active is interested in so many things at once, continually.
I am amazed at his unending energy. How
can he keep going? Very intelligent and somewhat mischievous, he sneaks up
quietly and takes two cans of my Diet Coke. His mother, ever alert, follows him
to his room where he thinks now he can enjoy his “soda” as he calls it. Speaking
of his mom, she is busy making a new memories for us and fixes me healthy
snacks and helps me figure out different things on the computer. She is
incredibly smart and anything with the computer I ask her, in a jiffy she knows
how to fix it, find it, and figure it out.
For
a while we watch a cartoon or two, brilliant displays of color intriguing small
minds. A puzzle or two, a story and finally two tired little people fall asleep
in their beds, unaware New Years is about to happen around them.
For
me in moments like these, it is an oasis
of peace born out of my belief that in spite of me not understanding how or
why, God loves me and is taking care of me. It’s much like getting to know a
new friend and going through that awkward period of getting acquainted. One
day, you see your friend and you smile, you have a good warm sense of knowing
“you’re friends”. Walking with God is like that for me. There are up’s and
downs, fears and doubts, but sometimes just a beautiful sense of knowing, He’s
there, He cares and it’s going to be alright no matter how my story ends.
This
morning I started reading Romans. So much of it is in imagery I don’t
understand, but I continue. For me the Psalms and Proverbs are standbys that I
can turn to for comfort, wisdom and instruction almost all the time. I worry
maybe I’m too much a creature of habit and am missing out on other things I
need to read, I need to understand so I’m branching out and reading other places
in the Bible.
My day, luxurious break from work, is before
me. I feel wealthy in health, in family, in home, in faith. Perhaps 2013 will
be my year of Jubilee.
Enjoy
your New Year’s day, look up, God is only a prayer away.
For I am persuaded that neither
death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present,
nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be
able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Amen
Romans 8:38
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