Day 97 -Pay attention to the warning lights

     Good Morning to all. Daffodils are up and their bright yellow faces say hello to Spring. In my own  yard, my flowering cherry trees have pink buds ready to burst into bloom with just a few more warm days. 

     Yesterday was a heaven sent, warm spring day finding me laying flat on my back on the front porch soaking in the sun. The sky was a bright blue with white fluffy clouds sprinkled across it's vastness. It's been months since I just relaxed and enjoyed the sun on my face. This week, I've taken a break from the grind of my counseling job and am taking care of myself and the details of my own life.

      Our beloved minivan has been detailed, washed, and readied for the sales lot. Can't help but feel bad since so many happy family memories have been shared in it's family-friendly interior.  But, wisdom, financial need, and pure common sense dictate it find a new home. One last loving gesture was to get the oil changed yesterday. For the three years and 10 months I've owned it, I have religiously gotten the oil changed. In my youth, I experienced what happens when you don't change the oil, and at this age, I don't need to relearn that painful lesson.  Funny thing though, all the times I've gotten the oil changed the change oil light and signal have stayed on. It hasn't mattered if I've gone to the dealer, or Jiffy Lube, no one has turned it off. 

     I decided yesterday to ask the technician, "Ah, could you tell me how to get this warning light off please?"  "Sure," he replied, "just turn the key to the right, but don't turn the engine on. Then push the gas pedal down three times." "What?" I asked myself. "Is this some kind of Wizard of Oz, strange thing like Dorthy clicking her heels together and repeating,"There's no place like home, there's no place like home?" I did it once, and nothing. The light appeared, the beep sounded, "Oil change needed!"   I called to the first guy, "Hey it didn't work!" He called to his supervisor who came over, and repeated the instructions. "Turn the key on, but don't start the car, QUICKLY, push the gas pedal to the floor three times." "Hmmm...... the quickly part wasn't part of the instructions before",  I muttered to myself. I followed the instructions and guess what? The light went off!

    Wow, how odd that for some 40 odd months we lived with the constant reminder that something must be wrong, and yet it wasn't.   It was a false warning easily fixed.  In my own life, working where I do, (inpatient drug treatment), I get worn down. I work with men who are used to getting what they want, when they want it by any means possible, up to and including violence. Having patience to listen to them complain, get angry, lie, and just plain pretend wears me out. I pray, I ask people to pray for me, but sometimes I just need a break.  I know this is true, because I have my own warning light, I start getting more annoyed with people, noticing what they are doing wrong, etc.

    Last week, after working with a particularly trying group several staff  decided to find my file mistakes in front of other staff. The first day it happened, well I found it annoying and humbling but I endured it good-naturedly. (Or so I thought). The fact that the staff member who pointed out my mistakes doesn't follow company policy on so many things just seemed a little ironic. I mentally "Oh welled" the irritation away.  I thanked him for pointing out my mistakes and fixed them. 

      The next day, another staff, this one, even less committed to company policy, decided they were going to find more of my mistakes in front of other staff. Well, apparently my warning light was on but I wasn't paying attention. I was not anywhere as gracious to the individual doing this as I was to the first person. And then..........yes those people who know me, know that at times there is definitely, a and then.  Something I'm not proud of and have been working with God on for some time....and then..... I went to the boss. I made my concerns very clear, I mentioned the Union contract, I mentioned the individuals non-policy behaviors, and I mentioned I was not being respected. I didn't swear, I didn't yell, but I was past the warning light stage. 

      It's a good thing I routinely get top marks for client completion rates.  That fact helps keep the contracts signed, and the money coming in. So, my boss responded with, "I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." Period.  Well, that took the wind out of my sails, and I responded, "Well, it's obvious I need a break, normally this wouldn't get to me." To which he responded, "Yep, you need your vacation."

    So this week, I'm on my vacation. Trying to relax, not thinking  about my clients or annoying staff, but just regrouping for the next challenges. In a spiritual sense, God gives us guidelines in the Bible for maintaining balance in our lives that include breaks in our routines. Jesus took his disciples away from the crowds at times to rest and seek peace. He took time to be away at the sea and mountain to seek His father in prayer, away from people including his disciples.  If Jesus needed breaks from people, I certainly shouldn't feel bad about needing breaks from my job. 

     So, here I am getting up a little later than the 5 am grind. Enjoying my coffee and continuing my reading of Luke, selected Psalms, and re-reading of Proverbs. I am surrounding myself with family and stealing moments to enjoy nature. No fancy-dancy break to Disney World, but a just a time away from the constant demands of people who by in large are never happy. Time for renewal, of heart, mind, soul, and vision.  I will use my time wisely, being aware that my spiritual tank is on empty, and the warning lights are on. I will take the time I need for the self-care necessary, I will not ignore my God-given warning lights.

    

     In your own life, if your warning light is on for your own depleted store of love, strength and endurance, take a time away.  We are a renewable resource, but it is only as we take the time to be with our Lord away from others,  that we get the renewed vision and strength for our journey. Hopefully, you have the ability to take time out of your routines to seek the source of love, power and strength and learn to rest in Him. 

May your today's be sprinkled with his grace, 

and your tomorrows be a realized,

 joy in the morning!