Day 25 Forever Tomorrow

But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, "you are my God!' My future is in your hands."
New Living Translation     
                                                 Psalm 32:14

When I was young I was allowed to roam free throughout the countryside in rural Auburn. My parents had no fear of me running into anything dangerous. At age seven my mom bought me a 6 inch knife in a leather pouch that I wore on my belt. How proud I was of that knife. I spent time whitteling, cutting branches to make spears. I was an adventurer equipped for anything. I spent countless hours hiking through those woods tracing the old logging roads and deer trails. I would often go by myself up into the woods. I would tramp for a while, enjoying the scenery, then I would find a nice spot, enjoy feeling the sun on my face and lean up against a tree to sit a while and think.

I didn't always stay on the ground since I loved to climb trees and vine maples were my favorite. Their branches were thin but wiry and would leaf out in patterns almost parallel with the ground. I would go, up like a monkey and find myself a perch to rest and reflect. What I needed ot think about at such a young age might be puzzling to some people. Certainly I couldn't have that much to keep me occupied. Oh, but I did. I loved books, and through their pages I would explore, travel and imagine worlds far beyond my own reach. I was forever dreaming of tomorrow.

Sometimes I would tire of the woods and I would pack up my fishing pole, a snack and get on my old red bike. I'd take off down the old West Valley Hiway in Auburn and head towards Kent and the Green River. In those days, there were miles of river bordered only by trees, riverbanks, and brush. Going past old homes, dotted here and there on my way to the river I would imagine who lived there, and wonder what they were like. A barking dog or two might notice me but nobody else paid any attention. I was just a small child on a bike going somewhere.

I'd stash my bike in the weeds, hike to the riverbank and find a quiet spot to bait my hook. Looking back it amazes me that at seven years of age here I was biking for miles, going to the river to fish. I just didn't try to fish, I fished. I caught nice fat trout that tasted so good fried up at home by my mom at dinner. I love trout to this day, floured, salt and peppered, and fried golden brown in a pan. Nothing tastes as sweet as that tender, pale meat flaking off the thin bones as you eat.

The solitary nature of my being has continued through-out my life. I love people but for the most part, I stick to myself, content to experience life on the quiet side. I pray a lot for people, asking God to step into their lives and help them find the right path. I don't always know how to fix other people's problems, but I do know how to pray, to lift them up and ask that they be drawn to the One who can fix them.

Recently, it has become increasingly real to me that I have fewer tomorrows left, that my life is winding down and like the hikes in the woods where I found a comfortable place to enjoy the sunshine, maybe now I need to do the same. I hear news of people I've grown up with, passing away, or struggling with cancer and it makes me realize how fortunate I've been to have this long life without major illness. I been blessed.

Now, in the natural order of things, a slowing down has begun, a winding down as age weathers my smile, and weakens my frame. I do not dread old age, it is as if a welcome friend I've know before has come calling to say hello. Most of my hours I feel a real connection to God, I sense His presence, His care and it carries me through times when the weariness threatens to overwhelm.

I loved the movie, The Never-Ending-Story. When the blackness threatened to engulf the country the hero's fought it back. I do not need to fight this darkness back, but I do feel as if I need to celebrate life now. The dreaming, the planning is less a pastime as I realize that each moment is precious, not to be recaptured, or reclaimed.

If occasionally fear does make it's way into my mind, I pray. God has helped me go through many, many different trials of life. There were times I thought I couldn't, or wouldn't make it, but I did and now it's just another step in the journey. I believe that there's a heaven, and I believe that Jesus is there for making me a mansion. Some people might make fun of me, I don't care. I've seen how intricate this life is. I've taken science and biology classes and learned that life is even infinitely more intricate than our senses can tell us. Faith has sprung up in my heart from the soil of experience, discovery, and trust.

I'm living my tomorrows today, and how glad I am that I can believe that God has my future in His hands not no matter what my tomorrows bring He will help me me through.

Today if you are in fear of your tomorrows, dare to believe that God is there, He is real and He is only a prayer away.