Day 13: Never-the-less-God...

     As long as I can remember, I've had songs in my mind. Early on I tested every dish on the table for pitch and attempted to play out a tune during meals until my mom protested, "Stop!" I'm not any rock star for sure but I can play a few musical instruments, write some lyrics and carry a tune.

     During different seasons of life, the melodies have stopped in my soul, as if a silent pause was needed to give me time to mourn the passing of a life event. I've gone through this experience this last year, a divorce. A divorce is never pleasant, and unpleasant marriages end in even more unpleasant divorces. It's a given. During this time, I have continued to regroup, recharge but the melodies, the songs in my soul, have been absent.

     Recently, the divorce only a fading, unpleasant memory, words and rhymes having started coming back into my mind. It as if my soul is awakening again. My song is more subdued, the mood more an echoing of grace and restoration tempered by the fire of heartaches, but never-the-less, songs of the triumph of the soul.

      Reading my Bible, it is a comfort to me to see how many times the phrase, "never-the-less-God" is used. Usually this phrase is used in connection with stories how the Israelites rebelled, wound up in trouble and then cried out for deliverance. Repeatedly, and obstinately they would turn their backs on their God and "do their own thing," so to speak. Doing "their own thing" wound them up captured, oppressed and disheartened. Out of their despair they would cry, "Help us God!" And God would answer, addressing their out of control behaviors, yes, but then would be added, "Never-the-less God" and they would be rescued. 

     Where I work, we are in a rescue operation. Daily, men and women are making up their mind as to whether or not, 1. They want recovery and 2. Whether or not, they think that there is a Higher Power, and if so how that might impact their life. I cannot share my own faith with them. I can talk about connecting with their Higher Power, I can give them treatment plans designed to clarify their personal values, and assess their own spiritual connection. If asked what I believe, I can tell them, carefully, cautiously in a way that won't offend anyone else s beliefs. I can share my own journey of discovery; Can share that without God, I was lost, unable to move ahead or behind, captured by my own inability to solve any of my problems. I can share my own, "never-the-less-God" story.

     Like the Isralites, there have been many side trips in my wilderness experience. Things, people, objects, activities that drew my attention off track; away from the way to happiness. Many times, I've cried out, "God help!" and had my own, "never-the-less" God moments. How thankful I am that He is the God of the never-the-less allowing me to correct my path and begin again to find the music in my soul that celebrates freedom. Almost two weeks ago I began this blog, a journal of my current quest to reclaim my life, my fitness, and my discovery of continued purpose. Journaling, I've learned so much of what was in my soul; places and experiences that have shown me that in spite of losing my music for a while, the melody was still there; waiting to become a symphony of praise.

May your todays be filled with the sunshine of the light of God's love and the mercy of His, "never-the-less-God" moments.